my room is a complete mess these days. my laundry goes unwashed
for days too long. sometimes i sleep with my contact lenses on..
i hate material and energy balance. thank god this week's the final
week of classes before my study break and finals for crud's sake..
i have 4 tests this week for days on end, 5 assignments to hand in,
3 reports, 2 projects to present. we turn the room into a cyber lounge
nowadays trying to finish up them bleeding slideshows into the dead
of night. stupid internet's being a bitch that i can't find
enough materials for my pretty slideshows..i and my comrades shall
rule the crowd!!..oh sleepiness..i'd let you cradle me in your sweet
serenading abyss if i don't have so much to do right now and IF YOU'D
STOP GIVING ME NIGHTMARES EVERY NIGHT..for God's sake what gives..

life's still beautiful 'cos i make it out to be. i'd share more if i had my way
but people just love taking for granted..oh well your loss.

traa~

so this was the final week of classes fo this semester
WAHEY! i've gone through one effing year of my engineering
degree already...somehow i feel liberated but the thought
of finals in a week's time is waning my spirit haaard now.
last week's tests..made me feel incredibly unintelligent =(.
heat transfer was..it was the most bearable of all.
fluid mechanics was..WELL I FORGOT TO BRING MY
CALCULATOR believe it or not. shit. so i tried crunching them
numbers on my phone calculator. bodoh, takde square root
how la?! i borrowed the scientific calculator of my classmate
that sat in front of me. damn was the paper hard. it was so
hard i forgot the simplest of formulae..so i texted faiz for
some.."hey what's the formula for kinetic viscosity?.."
-"miu over ro.."  -"okay what's the formula for miu then??.."
i was so lost it was amazing...cos im never usually too
lost when it comes to fluid..so the last question was about
the hydraulic jump..SHIT i didn't know that was coming..
"hey what's the formula for mechanical work l-.."
..and then my battery died..oh Lord i know that was
unethical but i was only fighting for survival..
the next night was material and energy balance..hello subject
i dislike most ardently..you understand now how uninteligent i feel??
it's agonising!! so later that night i sat in bed sending sad
face emoticons to everyone i thought would care to share
a morsel of my sorrow.. how nii..exam lagi seminggu..adoi.

other than that..well i went for my civil defence final exam
this morning. i woke up and decided i couldn't be arsed to
shower yet so i washed my face brushed my teeth put on
my bright orange civil defence tee and tracks and made for
exam hall completely care-less. sat with my paper for about
twenty minutes, couldn't answer only 3/4 out of a short
subjective question and left. went back to my room and back
to bed. i woke up again well past 3pm =).

OH my spaceman presentation!
i'm pretty sure my fluid mechanics lecturer loved it. i was so
infused with excitement when talking about it in front of the
class considering the sleepless nights i spent putting the
project together. DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR BLOOD
AND OTHER BODILY FLUIDS BOIL IN THE VACUUM
ENVIRONMENT OF OUTER SPACE?? within minutes ebullism
will render you blind and soften your bodily tissues and
in 4 minutes you die of hypoxia. gruesome stuff eh?
i was so engrossed in this whole pressure-vacuum
topic i stumbled across this title on wikipedia..something
about human experimentation during the nazi era. where
the doctors that worked for the military camp then were
so into the psychotic hype of studying human capabilities in
sustaining harsh environments 'for the good of the military'
..some of the tests were those such as..

- putting a hoard of convicts in a vacuum chamber and see
how long they lasted..

-capturing a tribe of gypsies and starving them to death
only allowing them to drink seawater. it was said that
the gypsies were so thrown and dying that they started
licking moist off of newly-mopped floors because of the
thirst. they died anyway..

-fit men were put into ice tanks to see how long they
survive before freezing to death..

-the mustard gas experiment that got everyone puking
to death..

-the capturing of hundreds of pairs of INFANT twins and
doing genetic tests on them such as..injecting chemicals
into their eyes to experiment on iris colour changes..
sewing twins together to manually create siamese twins..
80% of them died, the rest suffered sever disabilities
and/or serious trauma..

..and thus The Nurembourg Code was later administered
confronting the world about human experimenting and
the infamous Doctors' Trial after WWII that sentenced
most of the convicted doctors to death and life
imprisonment..lunatics..

well i found it interesting did you?..

we eat with our hands. that's what malays do. eat with
our hands..we wash them well before, and clump little bitesize
morsels on our plates and put them into our mouth. you see
though, lately my room mates and i have this severe problem
..we just can't be arsed to wash them up after..
the toilet is 38572495824 miles away. it's just too far to
compromise. and the thing about common toilets is that
everyone uses it and the ones here are too wet and filthy
for our liking..and we're very paranoid hygiene freaks you see
..okay so i didn't shower for my civil defence test (refer last
post) but i was clean. i felt clean. that kind of conviction was
good enough for me to get by then =). washing our hands after
we eat though..God it feels like too little a deal to be walking
38572495824 miles for..i mean it's only dried and crusty food
stain on them fingers...nothing contagious =/..
so on most days lately, we'd go on for about 2 hours or so after
we eat with one dirty hand doing other things before we get
tired of doing things with only the left hand and decide to go
wash up after all..


this is ridiculous...help..

i believe that place is just congested with retarded
losers..and i wasn't afraid of voicing out what i felt
about the people there to him. well no it was full of
modest brevity at its best something along the lines
of "i don't like you people." sarcastic, but he ought
to know that there was some truth if not a whole
lot of it there.

i sound judgemental. i should like to not be though..

i mean five unanswered phonecalls in a night, three
days of unreplied messages, god psycho get the
bloody hint..

the bigger hint is that this heart has only enough
room for one retard for now..

anyway, finals next week! shittt i am dead scared.
so lately i've been pondering whether i made quite
the right choice doing engineering for the next
remaining 3 years. what will become of me after i
graduate. you know with the incessant talks of
unemployment after graduation especially among
females.. due to fucking discrimination and crap.
i may not survive months on an oil rig unscathed but
i'd sure like to save the world..

save the world.

before this i thought engineers are the scums that
are the reason that the world is dying. but after a
while i learned that..if i want to save the world
helping to clean up the mess they've made..i mean
who knows most about the mess if not engineers
themselves. so there you go. i should like to save
the world very much..cleaning up the environment.

engineers don't make millions. i can bag a five-figure
pay if i'm that charming at what i do later but what
we do are just pure dirty labour. throw out the
sunscreen and heels after a while there won't be much
time for self-tlc. and to think doctors are complaining
that their job equals to saving lives and less their own
psshhhhh...

..no actually i was only referring to one particular
doctor-to-be, lol..babe i think we have each other's
careers wanna switch?..

..then i'll fly off and start anew

and be out of your hair.

so what, i dont get to save animals..i'll go bigger,
i'll save the world..i'm scared..that i won't be
good enough to save the world one day. the
lecturers are already talking us into accepting
reality...from now on aiming for a GPA of one 4.0 is
a madman's wish. so long as you pass a 3.0 it's
a miracle already..

i'm all levels of fear actually. how ni..i want to be
stark-raving-madly rich too i'll be dead honest.

my room mates are all home. i'm alone this
weekend..     =(

OFFS i wanted to post pictures but i left my camera
in the room..xpelah next time..

4 more papers to gooooooooooo...it's dead ages away
seriously. upside though i think i've gotten the hang
of programming c++ heeeeeyy not bad eh PAT ON THE
BACK X). and this:

for (i=1; i<=10; i++)
    cout << setw(4) << i;
"   "
"   "
"   "

..i know what that bunch of crap means naaaaow!! =D

thanks to this bible (metaphorically speaking) of a book
that i borrowed from haizum who borrowed from her
boyfriend nazim. it's BRILLIANT! it speaks to me like
a consoling parent..like "there there child, you suck at
this baaaad but i'm gonna help you through it all the way
okay!" it's brilliant you should try it. even if you don't take
this godforsaken course that is computer programming
c++ which will be of no use whatsoever after i pass this
(and insyAllah i will), you should try it anyhow! X)

so anyway, like i have been telling lots of people lately,
i haven't been back in ipoh in almost 3 months now.
which is dead long. long long long you know how long?
like how long it takes for me to wash my hands after i
eat (refer last 2 posts i think)..you know relatively long
like that. i mean it's just ridiculous the actual length i'm
trying to spit-draw for you here because i usually wail
at the thought of not being back home for so long.
oh how i rock..

but the whole family came round about 2 days ago.
ah was it blissful..yea the sister had this MSSM bowling
tournament at Sunway Pyramid again so the parents
drove over to support with the brother who wagged
school obviously. right, i had so much to tell them.
and damn did my dadday missed me much. i know, i
could tell. well he didn't say it he never does but God
i could tell ok. WELL HE TOOK ME SHOPPING?! shopping..
my father never really enjoyed long shopping walks but
his dear aimisyaz's dire needs then preceeds all others
=).

and the parents are SO okay with me staying outside
campus next semester THANK GOD..even mother dearest.
..hello accomplishment! X) it's gonna be a full-on RIOt!
8 girls 2-storey house, fuck curfew and college regulatory
bollocks DO YOU SMELL THAT SWEET SWEET SMELL
THAT IS INDEPENDENCE?! it's almost edible..oh back up
now it's mine i saw it first! XD

anyway, here is another story..
i am not much of a radio-listener. and see, yesterday..
my mp3 player decided to screw up IT WON'T PLAY.
you have NO idea what kind of incurable sorrow i am
left in right now! ='( i love that baby to pieces. dadday
said we'll get a new one next month but i insist not!
this baby and i have gone through so much..so much i
tell you. i spent a lot on brand new speakers each time
one fucks up replacing with real good ones because my
baby deserves only the best..it's not a sleek posh iPod
but that's okay..it's mine. i got it for my birthday last
year. it's still an infant! why baby why.....
......it's because i've dropped you one too many times
isn't it?!?!...i should go starve myself for rendering you
handicapped now..=(

i'll get you healed all well again baby, promise..

okay i so deviated a bit too far from my real story
RIGHT SO HERE IT IS FOR REAL..lol

i don't like listening to national radio..my God are them
advertisements lame..LAME! i don't see the point. i mean
i know what the point of advertisement is supposed to
be it's just i don't see it in radio advertisements. I DON'T
FREAKING GET THE PSEUDO-AMERICAN ACCENTS and the
GEDIK VOICE and the LAME LAME SCRIPTS!

please stay with me here..

like the one on Fly.fm...something about shopping and
wasting too much resources with them non-biodegradable
plastic shopping bag. girl holding a truckload of
shopping bags greets a friend and the friend with the
ickiest voice ever goes.."HEY HEY, YOU YOU!...bla bla
SHOPPING?!"




WHO THE HELL GOES "HEY HEY YOU YOU.."

i dunno, i'm probably just whining too much but
that line irks me in SO many levels each time i hear it.



i guess one of the major reasons i hate the radio
next to my own playlist is that i can't tell it what to
do.. =P


well now i just have to oblige cos my playlist won't do
what it does best...play.






=(

so alot of people do different things to gain
self-confidence, right. different things. which is good,
variation's good as long as you're aware that
confidence is definitely something vital to help
you get by on days. you know it's something
you gain, then sometimes you lose it again and when
you do, i think it's time you see that the buck stops
here and you've got to do something about it.
get it back per se..

one thing i've learned over the years is that being
outshone with a lot of things really gets you down.
DON'T LIE. it get's you down most of the time and
that's life. losing is not an option. accepting defeat
is one thing but not something you'd want to go
through too often. patience only get's you so far.
if you stay a patient little prude your whole life
waiting for a revelation to come toppling down onto
your head from the heavenly skies above, crack open
and reveal a strip of paper that tells you what to do
next like a fortune cookie only a fortune cookie is
just that, the very culprit that keeps telling people
to wait wait wait everything will turn out okay
eventually..well i just suggest not. i mean not like
i'm this eminent guru in surviving life or anything
but i think it's what most people would suggest too..

even Newton worked his ass off before his apple tree
apple story..=)

anyway, yeah, eventually..your life is what you make
it to be. God watches over you and His army of
angels and Himself helps you through life if you so wish
to be helped. You've still got to know what you want to
become of your eventually..

and how much confidence drives this..

see back to the outshining thing again..i myself sometimes
face this bout of inferiority complex they call it. i guess it
is in my nature of imperfection. sometimes you just feel
unrighteous and not good enough for a lot of things..
for your career, for your parents, a good enough friend
for your great great friends, pretty and delectable enough
for a guy..

yeap it happens. you can't get everything in life. i admit i
am blessed with so many things that i don't see in others
and i thank God sincerely for them. not because i have
the upperhand..i mean barely so..but more to the fact that
i have something to empower myself with. i have,
puny as they are..the little reasons to feel liberated..



i am not divinely smart. nowhere near i know. not that
significantly charming. i can't even roll my tongue God
i'm such a loser yes?..i can hardly reach the topmost
shelf in supermarkets. my voice..is hardly audible at times
you get sick of trying to strain to hear me out..and i have
the nerve to complain about bad listeners pssshh..my stamina
is limited..i am very good at panting hard. my upper torso
is unattractively skinny that a part of my ribcage actually
shows but i've got plenty of hips isn't that just the queerest
thing?..i'm far from pretty. i don't wake up every morning
looking like a princess. i am never treated like a princess.
well except dadday..he treats me like an empress =).
my skin is far from flawless. sometimes i'm too shy for my
own good. i'm good at beeing fooled. i'm good at being taken
as the fool. see i am imperfect in a thousand ways. oh i am
perfect in weaknesses. i run on a lot of self-induced strength
and it gets really tiring sometimes..really tiring.

you know sometimes you're just so pressured to be
the best. not so much to impress others but just merely
wanting to shout to the world that you actually
are around. my confidence is sparked mostly by knowing
that we wake up everyday and even though people
can be really stingy at giving away chances..there it is
right there, one huge one and you overlook it. waking
up everyday is the biggest, ongoing chance that you'll
ever get. because at the thought of being able to wake
up unscathed everyday gives you the hope that life's
bot giving up on you yet..and to me that is the single
most amazing thing that i can grasp right now.

being alive gives me faith that i am still worthy of a
lot of things that i've failed to achieve as of yet. that
dream..that cause..that guy..to be defined and kept.

and so are you. =)

Uncyclopedia defines it  a type of orgasm faked for
the purpose of being sarcastic..

i think that's something my friends here and i are
incredibly good at. i thank God for blessing me with
the affinity towards delectably sarcastic people that
i end up being best friends with. i am feeling the
long-awaited tight abs building already i think
*feels tummy* YEAP i think it's coming..i mean after
all the laughter, cos i find that i laugh at myself so
often these days oh God i crack myself up...XD

and you should check out how sarcastic we are! not
the horribly mean kindaf sarGasm (i reserve that for
those i intend to be cruel to..) but laden with very
impromtu, very clever nonsense. and very creative!
i can even create dialogues in my head on the
possible kindaf conversations we might be having in
the near future.. like this morning, i finished answering
my heat transfer paper quite early (quite flawlessly is
a different case!) and the last question was on
radiation. so i began daydreaming away..

friend: i think we radiate too much sexy vibe around here..
therefore we're radial..

me: ahahaha konfiden gile radial..RADIANT KOT!..HAHAHA

friend: oh ha ah! hahaha..radiant!..radial system-bank of tubes
-critical radius?!..XD

me: -dropwise condensation-fully developed internal flow
-staggered and aligned?!!?..hahaha

friend: ahaha kate delectable..

aimi: tula pasal. being delectable takes..delectability..

friend: perform weh ayat!

aimi: CCM (chemical company malaysia) is so missing out
on us weh bring it on la!!..*high five!*

let me enlighten you a bit though we didn't make it for the
CCM scholarship shortlist (stupid fucks SO lost us you'll be sorry..)
and the whole 'delectability' thing we put in our resumes for.
actually i put in mine and the others saw it and thought THAT
THEY WANT TO BE DELECTABLE TOO ahahaha so we're
now self-proclaimed delectable people XD. i rock resumes cos
i like exaggerating okay, let's be honest now. so there we are,
a typical kindaf conversation we usually entertain ourselves
with around here..



friend: babe ape ni..i think you have a fetish for penang guys..

aimi: no penang guys have a serious thing for me
they're just to stubborn to admit it..
(sorry if we offend anyone! here have a morsel of sargasm! XD)



and today after studying C++ a bit..



syamin: i rase kalau i need a lawyer i nak ambik aimi..

nadila: hah asal aimi pulak tibe-tibe dapat jadi lawyer?..

aimi: aish haritu u sendiri cakap i PUBLIC DEFENDER KOT?!..

syamin: eh bile mase pulak u public defender??..

aimi: sebab i ahli jabatan pertahanan awam = civil defence..jadi
i defend orang awam hence i is PUBLIC DEFENDAAAARHH!! HAHAHA

haizum: oh kalau camtu kitorang ahli kesatria negara..
kesatria=..

nadila: ..KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOUR, BRING IT ON LA
LAWYER!!..

*endless laughter fits here..*

hahaha this bunch of civil defence kesatria negara crap only
uitm-ers will understand!! XD..

k stupid cc's closing down now, gats lots more to tell you actually
..tomorrow then!

xoxo