Cold, but I'm still here.. Posted at 08:59 PM
The tests are starting tomorrow. I haven't been updating since I can't remember when. And life's still moving.
So, so, painfully. Like Sufi said, "You're born to have drama and excitement in your life..." I can't exactly remember her exact words but that's basically what she meant. It's not a fucking advantage anymore. I don't understand anything any...more.
If the only truth some people can tell me these days are LIES then they know best to tell them to thousands of others out there who actually have time for them. I don't have any of that neither do I have any forced tolerance for them what's so hard to understand? DON'T SAY ANYTHING. Don't say anything if you think I can't handle the truth. You think I'd sit well on being fooled just so that I'd keep quiet? How dare you. Don't lead me on just stay silent and indifferent I'll get the hint, I'm not that stupid. I don't need to be asked whether I'm okay ten times a minute either. Whose conscience are you trying to satisfy now, mine or YOURS? I don't need anyone to pretend to be nice to me either. You hate me or you don't MAKE YOUR PICK. Stop making me feel like the asslicking loser. I definitely do not want you to egg me to mock up a pretense also. Pretending is lame. I may not be the best of souls, you do not need to amplify that statement for me I'll take care of myself. It's one thing that you think I'm insignificant enough but never toy with my pride, I'll show you what a first class bitch is made of. The world does not only function the way you think fits you best. Hark who's thinking so highly of themselves. Always so rash, aren't we? You may think what you did was so miniscule in importance and I am a paranoid freak. And you might think I am a selfless whore who thinks she deserves an appreciation day for herself. You there might think that I am a pathetic slag who doesn't know what a declination looks like. Whatever you think, put them into words and gestures or forever hold your tongues and clench your fists and keep everything to yourselves. I am in no mood for guessing games. I don't know whom I can trust entirely anymore.
I don't even know to whom all that up there is dedicated to either. The next person who tells me my hormones are poked I'll hurl a chair at you.
Oh I hate feeling so bitter. So full of resentment. But no spite. Never spite.
So much for a good impression, right? I know there are new readers here...readers whom I felt aren't ready to be here yet. Readers who might run away now after such colourful stories. (I'm not talking about you la Drillo froggy, I can take loser beatings from you anytime!). Alas some people can be so hasty. Waiting's fine sometimes. Waiting for the right time. Why can't everyone understand that.
Calculus tomorrow. Ho damn I want to do real well for my finals. Hope everyone else does too. Godspeed...
Oh last Saturday, I came back to Shah Alam at 6 in the morning. After Zuhur though, went to pick Zara up from her house, drove aaaaaaall the way to Shira's place in Setiawangsa which is at the far end of KL for Raya. After that went to ten houses it felt like! (takla actually 5 je...XD) There were eight of us in four cars it was FAWESUMMM!!! I spent like RM30 worth of petrol because my friends drive like looooonatics! Dee got me switching lanes in the conjested(sp?) highway like fifty times! We kept losing her! She has no common sense as to what convoying means!!! Hahaahaha. Came back to campus past my curfew. Was sooooo tired that I forgot to turn the headlights off. Dad came to pick the car up the next day. Fucking battery died bitch of a car won't start obviously. It was so bad, jumpstarting it wouldn't work, so daddy had to stay overnight, miss work the next day, and had a new battery box installed the next day. I AM SUCH A NUISANCE IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!
Oh life...
Someone offered me guitar lessons for during the semester break. Cool kan? 
Bet you can't guess who did. Bet you all of your duit raya, seriously.
I seriously can't wait for the semester break. So many things to dooooooo so many things to get away from! Mother feels I need to learnt to cook proper meals @_@. I feel the same way too. I want to start more hobbies. Besides the guitar. I want to start painting again. Oh my futsal buddies why are most of you away...I want to jog. Now I know what cellulite looks like. Suddenly they're here!! Ew. Familyku I miss you so much..........bodohla this homesick feeling. 
ahh beautiful people....clockwise now Tikaboo, Zara, Raja, Aliya, Dee, Me, Nadiah, Shira . Skema syal! hahaha
...=)
....that's better 
. All of my PASUM chicks minus Naya, Drill and Tasnim.
