Some people can just be so hostile and mean. Like in a "My life is tons better than yours, get off my back" sorta way. It's really rude, actually. Most of the time when I turn into Princess stick-up-bum these days I vent with horrible sarcasm, but end up blaming my uterus. Some people however can be such pussies it's as if they're about to give birth to a pack of Nazis. Honey, nobody's gonna ever marry you you're never gonna get a guy with that bitch of an attiude.

*ooooooooh...*

=)

--------------

Anyway, POTC3 the second time was alright, but probably not gonna go get the DVD that soon. 3 hours number two was quite gruelling no matter how funny the comics still were and how brilliant the soundtracks were also. This time I waited till the bit after the credits finished. Keira Knightly is a natural beauty, and one of the things I like about her most is that she has full eyebrows, shaped but not overdone. Unlike most other stars, some even shave their's all off and pencil on new ones. Yeurghh...oh and also the part where she's almost 'flat' at least it doesn't make me feel bad iykwim, haha!

Had steamboat. It was fun. Anything involving going out + eat + talking on top of each other's voices equals to the good old fashion entertainment that I like.

Finally, I told the parents my results. Initially I planned not to until the university offers are being given out. Technically I wouldn't have been lying or anything because incredibly enough they never asked when I was getting them! Lol, I specifically remember Mum asking only yesterday morning when I will know where I'll be off to next, end of story. But lo and behold, Dr. Uncle Ghapor, my Calculus lecturer also my dad's friend called up and wanted to know how I did. SO I HAD TO TELL THEM, YES? Obviously I broke the news with a very solemn tone, very honest and deliberated. And praise God they were being extreeeeemely nice about it! Actually I only told the mother and she said she will inform the father later. I escaped the whole telling-the-father part by speeding off to Jusco to meet the girls to escape the plausible ugliness of a scene I thought it would've been if I was around. Apparently not. Dad sent a message saying....and I just sat there agape when I read it, "Congrats! You passed!!!"

Likably thoughtful, father but it was hardly the type of reaction I was expecting, EVER. I was sooo gobsmacked I made my friends read it out again for me just to be sure. And the multiple exclaimation marks?!...so not my father?! Lol. So I replied briefly, "Thanks...but I was expecting at least a 3.5" and he responded just as briefly, "Syukur Alhamdulillah..."

I couldn't be any happier. I thought it would've disappointed him quite. I know he didn't do as well as I did (not saying I did superbly well) but at least he got back into UM after that, some miracle if I do get a place in UM now. But he was also thrilled with my 'smart' choices of courses. Ever since, he has been extremely nice to me. Thank God for such womderful parents especially at times when I could do with their kindness...

Oh and to make you feel better, Uncle Ghapor......amongst the Calculus topics I liked yours the best! =). I so fucking aced Series and Matrix even Drill said so. I bet....if all the other lecturers were friends of the family too I'd completely get the Best Student award or something...(gile berangan...ahahahaha) But it went to Taufiq, my classmate the annoying GENIUS. My other classmates and I were SOOOOooooo cheering the loudest when he went up on stage for the award on Malam Emas.....dead proud of him.

---------------

Just finished watching The Libertine. At first I was looking forward to a very posh Pride and Prejudice-like flick....turned out to be too posh it takes a Shakespearette to understand what in the world they were talking about. Haha. A well casted film...with the likes of Johnny Depp, Tom Hollander, Jack Davenport, Rosamund Pike, RICHARD COYLE (!!!) my fellow Sheffielder, and Rupert Friend (Keira's Orli-like boyfriend). I find the cast an ironic band of intertwining fates. Lol. Good story. Witty and conniving, brutally honest, the 17th century were made up of perverted noblemen and significUntly lust-filled women. I'm very much into war-fueled, historic epics these days. Now if only I can get me 'ands on Mary Bryant....

This weekend alone I've been to two wedding receptions. We have a couple more next week. I don't really fancy wedding-hopping, me. Unless the celebrated are close relatives or tight friends of mine. Otherwise weddings are a crud. The last wedding I enjoyed was one I had five years back when my aunt got married and I was the bridesmaid whom the bride dressed in a fabric more expensive than the other bridesmaids and flowergirls. LOL.

Typical Malay weddings are tacky. You come, salam-salam with the necessary people, they go off tending to some other guests, you grab a plate, and line up for a buffet serving then sit down eating in the sweltering heat. Now that's something else I disagree with. What the hell happened to the traditional food served on tables prior to arriving guests? The whole buffet thing to me is so demeaning that people are made to look like they're lining up for cafeteria food. Like literally, because at some kenduris you're not even allowed to scoop your own rise and stuff they have people doing it for you just so that you don't take more than you should. Insulting tau...

Plus, the busboys bustling around with their bigass red basins collecting dirty dishes bumping into other people's heads and stuff...

Music. Come on...kugiran and dangdut is so sixties wei...Today I had to sit directly in front of the speakers opposite the canopy where the dangdut karaoke-ers were singing. I was eating in writhing agony screaming "My ears! My eeeeaaars!!" in my head.

So on the way home in the car...

Me: (Jokingly) When Kakcik (Azyan) gets married one day and she has that kind of shit for entertainment for the guests at reception I swear to God I'll make a dramatic exit-...

Mum: Are you kidding me? NO MUSIC!!

Me: ...haven't finished. Nooo, she should have like...Mozart or Verdi or something. A string-quartet if you can afford one. And you'll have yours at a banquet hall...

Mum: ...or the town hall...

Me: ...OR the town hall, yes, better. And no pelamins please, ew, I roll my eyes at the thought of a married couple sitting on a flowery songket-ed throne-like pedestal on-stage for the whole world to see it's embarassing.

Mum: Yeap. I won't allow that...

Me: Yeap, me neither.

...and the whole time despite the both of us 'taking the mick' out of her my sister kept quiet...

Mum: ...as much as I won't allow her to get married before you do...=)

Azyan: HAHAHAHAHAHA....PSYCHE!.....I was waiting for her to say that XD.

Stupid. Then I went on defending my pride by so disagreeing with such a statement. You save the BEST for last, it always works like that, I say =). I'll probably will still be finishing vet school (Godwillingly) until I'm 25 and then I'll be working first because I want to earn a perfect wedding so it's all out of the question for now actually. A topic beyond the horizon completely at the other side of the world the more you wait for it to happen the longer it will stay where it has always been totally out of reach. And the other reason I DON'T LIKE WEDDINGS is because I've learned that it's customary amongst Malay mothers is that when they meet each other at kenduris they start introducing their children to one another. Then somebody will ask, Which one's the eldest? And then they will go on discussing about how they'd like their own children to have their weddings to be like one day and suddenly I hear my name in distinct metaphoric descriptions instead of my actual name (because obviously mum knows how much I'll resent her for ever doing it once we get home) being linked to catering ideas and hantarans. Dear God, one day if I have my own children I promise I'll never put them in such torment.

And then Keep Your Hands of My Girl came on the radio...

Me: There's the music for my wedding reception right there, you happy? Figuratively the groom telling other people to "keep your hands off my girl 'cos I got brass knuckles hanging from my neck and my chain" is more relevant and sober than lyrics like "lai lai lai...memori daun pisang..." and honest to God I almost puked into my mouth when they kept singing to that repeatedly so if you don't like my choice, then I guess you can just wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.....until I come around and start taking the subject seriously because it's not going to be as soon as you expect it to be =).

BAM!    XD *does a vitory dance*

I don't like weddings. 

Although, I AM looking forward to my friends' weddings though...=). I know who'll be the first!! XD

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On the way home we stopped at a kedai runcit. Does anyone remember when we little and those moving junk food sellers would go around the neighbourhood selling real cheap trash coated with artificial chocolate, the cheesy rings that turn your tongues orange, the boxes of chocolate balls with toys insde (JoJo, Bang Bang...), the little bubble gums with colourful wrappers with a panda's face on them, other goods (or not) some with incomprehesible Thai labels and that...I used to love those X). You know, back during the days when Hubba Bubba and M&Ms were practically unaffordable with my measly pocket money, haha.

When I was in KL the girls and I would go out and buy sweets all the time. We'd stop at the party shop to buy Cherry Shoe Laces and Jolly Ranches. Tasnim taught Shira and I the proper way to eat Razzles...full concentration, pop another in everytime the one in your mouth is starting to lose its flavour and chew non-stop or the gum will harden. Lol. We'd swap Toys 'R' Us lollies in the lecture hall. Treat each other with Chuppa-Chupps now and then to stay awake in classes.

Well today, I decided to relive my inexpensive childhood and bought some good-old proper JUNK....=)

...it's amazing though how many of the crap we used to enjoy actually contain gelatine. This country is not that safe nowadays. I have to read the ingredients everytime buying unknown sweets without ever trusting the Halal labels completely anymore. Boohoo.

let rain pour from sunset amber sky

and the day see the end as it blankets the soil dry

then perhaps can the slick see it fit to rest

shall then i cower from all but their jests

though slyly unintended but wicked the least

some toy in malice over a lively feast

but the garden is stunning, with very little noise

while the nobles keep inside as they prance and rejoice

i slip out most quietly that my hem miss the floor

and borrow the anonymity just beyond the door

sit with poor propriety, and such honest neglect

stare into the horizon as it pains my neck

bless the maiden moor, of its petals and greens

its virgin beauty yonder feels enchantingly surreal

will it waste to remedy the dimmest of souls?

will it help to exile pride so alarmingly bold?

i hardly think it proper to breed such flaws

nor i trust it fair to be challenging yours

tis a sin to let a fault to claim me its monarchy

yet it is my endeavour to omit it by will quickly

for i have more profound reasons to demand myself

of the need to atone to salvage all that is left

the remnants of something once revered

now epitome of a failure i hath once feared

and here i am left to be judged and patronised

in all possible ways i cannot compromise

as i hardly accept pity nor prejudice as a lesson

tis an act of misconstruing my genuine intentions

but that is not my error to amend

it is though my wrong to let your perception bend

hence that and only that shall i correct

in faith and in time i shall pay my debt

so underneath this elm i have found my task

to dine in a manner that i hope will last

be plighted to rescuing my very priorities

and not engage in nonsensical, eluding follies

pray, can you misplace your rash haste

and in its stead, bear a fresh and thoughtful grace

now i leave the anonymity just beyond the door

and return in my entirety to the life indoors




 
- aimisyaz

My inspiration..... 

Chatsworth House. Home to the Duke of Devonshire. My most favourite English stately home. We used go there every summer just because it's so.....so breathtaking. It's enooormous. Overlooking a vast countryside. An estate that stretches out a huuuge area of Derbyshire just half an hour from Sheffield. It had wild sheep roaming freely by the riverside. It was also one of the settings in Pride and Prejudice (2005). Remember Mr. Darcy's home at Pemberley? Splendid choice...

It has a garden open to visitors. A complete spectacle. With gravel paths, wildflower shrubs, a large lake, wild birds, a mini farm where you can pet the goats and guinea pigs, THE BEST WOODLAND PLAYGROUND EVER with a kiddie version of flying-fox and a watermill that had a real spring turning it!!! OMG I so wanted to marry into the family. Once upon a time long ago I started pretending I was the Duchess of York    for godknowswhat reason because it sounded prettier than Duchess of Devonshire.   

We'd play by the clean...clean river........(I so miss the days when my brother and sister were small and adorable and not-as-annoying...)

Have a banana picnic on some pretty hill in the gardens...(look at how I devour the thing...now I understand my addiction to bananas wasn't recent and neither will it be short-lived...)

Lord Aiman upon his noble steed...

One of the many...many gates...

Lord Aiman and Duchess Aimi feeding the wild pheasant some orange viscounts as Countess Azyan overlooks...

Just going through old photo albums.....and missing.

You know your memory's just taking the micky out of you when you're kindaf convinced that your first friend to be married will probably be at least a couple of months away if all goes well, but then one you've completely forgotten about gets married last Saturday. Dude, what gives?!

I did mention that I was to attend a wedding during the weekends 2 posts ago but typically I thought it'd be some lesser known first cousin thrice removed or other. So imagine sitting down at the table, I saw the groom and the bride walking past and I practically dropped and misplaced my jaw when I saw that the groom was my oldest best friend ever. I remember the days when we'd hang at my Grandma's, watch kiddie telly together. And now he's somebody's husband for crying out loud. It just feels depressingly weird. I feel like such a bad friend.

I feel like such a horrible friend. =(

I mean what do I think I'm playing at. I've had ten thousand friends and they change almost once every half a decade. I'm horrible at keeping in touch with people. I give up with friends too easily. Sometimes I make excuses like distance as if it's such a big deal of a reason to not keep in touch enough. And when the other side rarely say much I easily take it as 'they don't care anymore' but I know I conclude at my own expense also. None of them were ever dispensable enough. Most of the time I get sentimental about friends but once we undecidedly severe the ties everything just seem to be almost unrescuable I just start giving up. It's only fortunate that I'm not running out of friends as of yet. It's a blessing. But that doesn't mean I don't regret anything. I'M JUST HORRIBLE OKAY.

When I first went abroad, my first ever best friend was Azri and agreeably he was one of the coolest kid I had ever met. On my first morning there he wanted to take me around the place for a bit, so I followed him literally back-yard hopping. We climbed over skips and crossed almost 15 houses through their back gardens uphill to the nearby newsagent for one miserable bar of chocolate and back the same way while old ladies yelled at us as we trod all over their rose hedges. Lol. He'd invite me to his place to watch videos and some were quite grownup-ish and when his mum gets back to check we'd quickly put my Hunchback of Notre Dame into the player. Haha. When our parents took us to other people's houses during raya the adults and other more sensible kids would be sitting together eating and talking, and we'd be doing silly things like sneak into the attic or out in the garden playing with homemade bubbles or sitting back to back looking at the stars. He was cute and I remember his girl-fans would be mega jealous that we were pretty tight. I so so so  miss the guy lately. I need more friends like him at times of bore like this. People who wouldn't mind getting into trouble with me as long as we don't get caught.

So you know, just for the record, If you've been friends with me for longer than you probably expected be grateful and please don't leave just yet. I'm just glad that you're still around. I suck at this. So yeah, thanks for putting up with me. Gotta do something about this now.

Oh and I'm going to KL next Monday ZOMG I'M ELECTRIFIED, I'M SHINING LIKE THE SKY!!!...well the sky will be shining in the morning at least X). I totally can't wait. We're going ice-skating for Farrina-Nadiah joint belated birthday celebration thing. OH HAI ICE-SKATING I'VE MISSED YOU OUTERSPACE AND BACK. After that will probably be picnic time somewhere yet to be decided. It's a shame that Drill will probably not be joining us because of work. I should drop by Miss Selfridges with pretty lollipops for her. I'll also get to meet Nayaaaaaaa. It's been too long. Way too long. I shall get to see Tika's new Rihanna bob. Nadiah's also new hair that Tasnim helped to CUT apparently, lol. God there's so much to do. I need my Ipanemas back from Naya. WE NEED TO PLAY FUTSAL. I'm so dying for futsal. Nobody wants to play with me here.

Oh and I just found out that say if I get to do vet, once I finish my 5 years, if I want to I can continue another 2 years of medicine so I can graduate with two degrees.

TWIN MEDICINE DEGREE HOW FRICKIN SWEET IS THAT. I could practically treat the whole animal kingdom by then. Well it's all wishful thinking really. So I'm praying hard now that I get to do veterinary.

My current playlist

1. Let It Die - Three Days Grace
2. Breath - Breaking Benjamin
3. Up is Down - Hans Zimmer
4. Your Hands Are Cold - Dario Marianelli
5. Stolen - Dashboard Confesionals
6. Do You Know (the Ping-Pong song) - Enrique Iglesias
7. Red Light Pledge (Acoustic) - Silverstein
8. I'm Gonna Be/Roll (500 Miles) - Brian Potter and Andy Pipkin/The Proclaimers
9. Buried a Lie - Senses Fails
10. Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte 

YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS IT'S FAB. COMIC RELIEF FOR RED NOSE DAY 2007. LOL AT POSTMAN PAT, BOB THE BUILDER, DAVID BECKHAM, SIR ELTON JOHN, AND OF COURSE...DAVID TENNANT IN KILT IS JUST CUTE! THE PROCLAIMERS ROCK! I'd deffo fall for anyone who can sing this to me ardently and with a flawless Scottish accent. =)

...it's amazing what men in kilts can do to my thoughts. Regardless of David Tennant being the icky Barty Crouch Jr. in Harry Potter and the GOF. Lol. I'm running out of Coupling to watch....Dr. Who maybe...? XD

He's THE DOCTOR!....Oh David, you make me want to put my tartan on now.

Usually, I don't really bother to read when people post IM conversations on their blogs. And I don't post long IM conversations either  just to be fair and...well I never thought people are that curious about what other people actually yak about on MSN or other anyway. No offence though.

HOWEVER!!!.....this conversation was about the pinnacle of all the practical jokes I have ever heard of or witnessed or performed in my life. It's just SICK. And it happened today. Don't mind the blonde bimbo vibe. We were almost more shocked over this than we were over the Paris hoo-ha...

I can never understand the French.......

Their language is alluring and their fashion sense is orgasmic.

Yet after watching the film Marie Antoinette it gave me a whole new broader perspective of the French...

Yet 'broad' does not insist that they're anymore comprehendable to me than they have hardly ever been. Broader means there's so much more to them than I thought one ought to understand. I hope nobody here is French.

All this while I have always believed that Marie Antoinette was this poor young queen who was forced to marry some adolescent prince for the good of the country and she was supposedly famous for the quote "S'ils n'ont plus de pain, qu'ils mangent de la brioche." (If they have no bread, then let them eat cake.) This line was said to have delayed her execution. In fact she never uttered such a thing. Antoinette was a 17th century Austrian Archduchess who was arranged to marry Louis XVI at the tender age of 15 to form an alliance between her country and France. She became the Dauphine and later the queen of France at 19. She was initially adored by the French until she lead the steady incline of the country's financial stability and together with Louis XVI lead to the fall of Versailles. See these are the things I once hoped to learn about in form 5's brief introduction to European History. Apparently brief wasn't an overstatement I barely blinked past the heading 'French Revolution' if I even remember there ever being one....pfff. But if we were to learn it I think the messiest thing to cope with about it is remembering the names...comte d'Artois, sans-cullottes, bourgeosie...but I find the whole historical contribution of it quite diverting. If it wasn't for the naive douche of a King Louis XVI was you Americans would still be using pound sterling now.

Anyway, this film right, I don't get why it never found its was to Malaysia. It's good but not the kind I'd watch at the pictures. I only save the theatre for hardcore action flicks and for comic relief XD. This one was not exactly serious nor too political. It was light and kindaf fun seeing Antoinette as Paris Hilton of the 18th century, lol. She was a wild spender that spent the country's money until there was literally no more bread for the people! But it was cute seeing her lavish herself in wonderful indulgences from REALLY PRETTY FROCKS to cute shoes and sampling them all while chomping on  A BUFFET OF BON BONS AND ECLAIRS. That was the thing I liked the most about the film. The costumes were diviiiiiine. At least, if I was living in Voltaire-era France.

Then it dawned on me. The French's taste in luxury is heriditary. They have an exquisite taste in life only shadowed by little scraps of oddness in the lifestyle.....at least for the royalties though. I noticed their eye for etiquette was keen. Their strictness about rank was anally compulsive. Like, every morning the Dauphine must be dressed by her ladies-in-waiting comprising of Duchesses and Countesses and the one with the highest rank present had to be the first to dress her. If another of a higher post suddenly arrived she shall take over the first layer of dressing. It was funny. Lol. But yeah I respect her the most in her exquisite taste in style. She was as classy as a 19-year-old ought to be...for an 18th century 19-year-old at least.

I've always thought the French are unreasonably arrogant. Like they feel that they're above other Europeans. I got the hint that they are/were a bit resentful towards the Britons. Some say it is/was because of Bonaparte's loss at the Battle of Waterloo. If so, dude, gile sore loser wei...They even lashed out so much on them during the days of the Mad Cow disease saying it was all owing to English 'cows'. Ahaha. And they are generally racists...but they are bigger racists towards non-caucasians who speak English. They should learn a thing or two from the Swiss. They are reeeeeally friendly. AND THE SCOTS FTW. X)

But it is though, the arrogant ring to their language that makes it tres belle. It is though, the pride in style and manners that there ever existed a Chanel, a Gaultier, and a Vuitton. Their narcissism that tricked the world into worshipping their class and charms...those who made themselves believe espargo and blue cheese are the best culinary 'inventions', those who felt a bit of glamour when they've just had their first 'French' kiss, why the hell is the world's greatest film festival held in Cannes?......(out of topic but Paris once went, "So where will the Cannes Film Festival be held at this year?"...oh God you bimbo ilu, haha.)

So I suppose the only understanding I can get on the French is that they're a bunch of snobs (if not all) in their own plausible right, I guess. If by any chance there are French passers-by around do correct me if you should.

--------------------------

I HAVE TWO NEW RABBITS!!!!! A neighbour wanted to give them away. We were just doing the charity of adopting. One's a girl one's a boy. Charlotte and Chocolate. Will have pictures up later! XD

-----------------------------

These days I find it quite a task to be watching telly with the adults. Unless it's CSI or a sitcom or something on the sports channels. The mother has the knack of being a small-town critique who is convinced all Hollywood celebrities have undergone rhinoplasty and is even more intolerant towards them if their dresses are five sizes too small 'things' start showing, the father is convinced that all American reality-tv shows are a complete hoax sham all LIEEEES and sees it as a compulsory to scrutinise them for even the tiniest of bloopers to prove it.......whilst ME, I honestly don't bloody care what the hell they are wearing as long as I'm wearing the appropriate things, I don't care how un-real the shows are I watch them purely for entertainment and sometimes you have to pretend things to entertain people. Le sigh...you know I enjoy watching ANTM with my brother for God's sakes he... he even remembers who gets eliminated on which week, even I don't. So most of the time when the parents are in front of the telly I retreat and watch the stuff I love just me and my laptop =).

All's fair in life. I love them for loads of things and they likewise. For as much things they can't and probably will never stand about me, lol, I inevitably feel the same way too .

I'm in a draggy mood. Borderline foul. Just sans the bitterness and the need to make everyone feel the same way, by not talking to them. It's amazing how well I am handling this.

I can't go to KL. Because the father's work's been postponed and that's just well bad. I was very upset about this when I found out yesterday. You know, when finally everyone is free and so excited to meet up. Drill stopped working now and apparently she can make it too. We bloody even had a group discussion about this. I hate having to cancel on people more than one time. It's unfair. I can go at the end of the month though. Only I probably won't be as free because bloody universities start on the first of July. Dude, seriously, the rush is so overrated. The shittiest part of this is that Drill is leaving for Ireland on the 3rd. On the farking third. I so have to send her off. I SO HAVE TO SEND HER OFF. Tell me how, though, if I have to be 'locked-up' again by the frikkin' FIRST!!!

I probably won't get to see her in years now. That makes me very mad. Very, very mad.

I'VE ONLY GOT 2 MORE WEEKS LEFT OF HOLIDAYS.

It's a tearful ending. And I still don't get to see my Calabash-ers and co. Lord knows how I'm suppose to break it to them...again.

And adoi, the rumours one after another...it's driving me bonkers.

So these children were busy spreading on Friendster that the results for our Uni-applications was going to be out last Friday, see. So naturally I wasted a good couple of hours on the phone with Fairuz trying to engage in some form of reality-check that has certainly missed us ever since the holidays started. I was just paranoid thinking about having to start the whole "Hi, I'm Aimi, what's your name?" thing all over again. Having to try fit in with new roomates. Contemplating on the possibility of getting not-so-nice ones. Getting used to the place...

I mean if I do get UM at least I'd have one task crossed out and won't have to worry about Matrics and STPM students trying to outnumber us or anything because outnumbering doesn't win over-...okay I'm not going to carry on with what I thought of saying because the words multiplying in my head so far aren't very nice and modest..

But that's hardly the case, innit though...
I somehow have the feeling I'll get someplace 'forsaken' like the east coast or....or in the middle of the tropical rainforest in Sabah.

(Okay no, I don't know whether UMS is in the forest or not but I know it's not in the middle of city so since I've never been to Sabah, my idea of a place other than the cities are dense, dense...rainforests.)

Best expect the worst.

I hinted the possibility of that happening to mum and she said that I'll have to send myself off alone and the ultimate, "Yeah, well.....you LOVE adventure anyways right."

When you're facing the possibility of being put in a rainforest without your consent first it hardly counts as an adventure it's called "HAHA, PADAN MUKE!"

We talked a whole lot of other things like responsibilities and the plight of being a freshman. It's like starting form 1 all over again. You feel like having to wear excess humility all the time. Not that humility's a bad thing but inferiority really dries you up.

The bigger part of the conversation was facing fear and the fatally nerve-racking situation. Having to face the next day when the results were supposedly coming out. IT DIDN'T THOUGH, DID IT?! It will, however, come out next week. So I'm probably going to have to replay the whole long phone-counselling thing, again, next week.

AY, POR DIOS STOP MUCKIN' ABOUT ALREADEH...

That Thursday night I dreamed that I was packing practically my entire room rushing to catch a flight and I was already half an hour late. When I got into the car, bimbo me forgot to load my things along so I got off again and went inside to grab my stuff. I went back outside AND THE FAMILY LEFT ME. They later called said I was too slow so they made a headstart. Wtf, not like they were flying I rememebered?! So.....I made a dash for the airport BY BICYCLE and couldn't bring with me any of my belongings anyway...When I arrived, I got told off by the airport people and some passengers for being a whopping one hour late......I don't remember whether I did fly in the end or not. Don't even know where I was heading. Pfff....so naturally I woke up feeling dead paranoid and was panicking I mean WHAT IF IT WAS A SIGN... 

This is definitely taking a bigger effect on me than the dead--guy-came-back-to-life frackass.

I am officially out of Coupling to watch. I have finished the entire 4 season run and the outtakes. This is indeed very sad. I so fell in love with all 6 characters nevermind just Jack. Ho noes, ho noes....

Fathers' Day post later...I somehow still feel a bit of necessary disappointment towards him right now. Hmmph. I bought him the cool cowboy golf hat that he wanted though.

Charlie the frog not included. 

OK, so the father absolutely loved the presents. He loved the cowboy hat. It fit him nicely. I think I have a big head, because I couldn't fit in it. Pun alert. Lol.

Mum got him new trainers for tennis. But he said he's not gonna wear them for tennis because he'll just shred them apart. Again. He even shredded his golf shoes. How in the world can anyone damage anything in golf apart from getting overcooked under the sun. I hardly consider it as a sport much, the moving around after each hit would probably tick me off big time.

And then...he fell asleep on the sofa in his trainers. Aiyo...

I watched Premonition yesterday. It was good. But such a...sad, sad story. It was almost a good-enough fathers' day flick. Watch it.

I so love my ayah. But I never tell him that.

In fact...I never tell that to any of my family anymore. I'm never expressive towards my family these days. I never let them see me cry. Not that it happens often. I try to never show too much affection nor any kinds of sentiments serving as a reason for them to quietly call me a softy. The thought makes me cringe...

Come to think of it...I never tell it to anyone anymore! It's just that lately, I realise how important it is to not use in vain. I wouldn't want to break any promises now, would I. I can feel and mean it to tears...but saying it, to me, is quite frightening. For now, at least.

Oh but I say it all the time to my cats though. They can never make fun of me. But the other day Basil slapped me. I think the woman's probably had enough of me. I adore her sooooo much that I make it a point to 'greet' her everytime she comes home by squeezing her until she growls, make her stay with me in my room so that she won't leave again for many hours until she yells at the door to be let out, tug at her cute twirly tail until she hisses at me. THAT WOMAN'S SO ANNOYED WITH ME NOW. I swear she can badly sever my arm if I make her mad enough. Bitch. Lol. She's back to sleeping on the highest kitchen cabinet so that I can't bother her in the middle of the night like I always do. She's one DOMINATING chick. Basil baby I only love you so mushhhh! You'll so miss me once I'm gone in 2 weeks you ungrateful PRINCESS!

Oo guess what these people have in common.....

Answer here >>>  

Yay, Paris my hunnay is getting out today and she wants to be a saint and promote women worldwide's well-being. I'm thrilled for her and hopes she's not lying.

Rumer Willis is dating my Zachary 'Sylar' Quinto. She's a frickin' coke-whore who tried to swallow a used condom (actually I don't know whether it was used but it sounds more grotesque like that ;P) and hangs out with Lindsay Hohan and she's a couple of months younger than I am. You can do better, Sylar babes (there are hundreds of 19 year-olds out there who make more sense than this loser...*BIGASS HINT*). Well at least it's confirmed you're not camp. =)

Nicole Richie is rumoured-ly preggers with Joel's kid and will probably kill her child with malnutrition and then end up in the pokey for a DUI and a 1st degree homicide ('cos she is starving herself on purpose, right...).

People are betting on the possibility that 5-year-old Maddox Jolie-Pitt will one day end up in rehab and serving his time in jail for alleged drug-trafficking and reintroducing Second-Generation Khmer Rouge to take over the States (okay I made the last part up XD).

Germany has barred the makers of a movie about a plot to kill Adolf Hitler from filming at German military sites because its star Tom Cruise is a Scientologist. They too with the rest of the world think he's a lunatic douchebag. I think he's an alien trying to take over the world. =)

........but you guuuuys, people are dying in some forsaken desert in the middle-east. Women in Ethiopia are still being abused by barbaric traditions. The Pygmies are slowly becoming extinct! People still think it's okay that sharks are hunted down with harpoons, reeled in, have their fins cut off and shoved back into the sea smothered in blood just to serve our gluttony. George Bush is still the Antichrist's illegitimate son. The ice-caps are melting. Finland is still supporting fur-farming. Some teenagers in America are still being murdered for their different colour and race. Bangladesh is still practising child-labour! There are still people in our country who are living in the woods with no electricity and no clean water. My neighbour cannot afford to send her genius kid for matrics,

THE GOVERNMENT IS STILL RUINING PEOPLE'S LIVES! This country is lead by old farts who are all about foulplay. Incidentally my uncle is a politician and my father (his own brother) uses him as a perfect example of a life-screwer-up because THE WHOLE SYSTEM OF ANYTHING GOVERNMENTAL IN THIS COUNTRY STINKS! I feel like hurling missiles at the Parliament House and exterminate everyone in there for the good of the future. THEY REEEEEALLY THINK THEY CAN OUTSMART US?! We're not stupid. They're stupid. They'll die earlier and we'll live to see it.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HAVING TO FRICKING PAY FOR A FRICKING COURSE THAT I DON'T EVEN FRICKING WANT. STOP MAKING MY PARENTS' LIVES A FRICKING MESS.

Fine maybe I deserve part of the beatings but my parents do not deserve to be put in stress thinking about how to save my future that you screwed up. YOU SUCK.

I know the perfect retaliation to my extreme animosity is that if I hate them so much, why do I still depend on them? WELL DUH, HI YOU SWORE UNDER THE NAME OF GOD AND...NATIONAL CONSTITUTION OR SOMETHING TO CARE FOR THE WELFARE OF YOUR PEOPLE I'm just claiming my right to that said care.

See...there are other more important things to be thinking about in the context of life and death than petty gossips. However much jinxed I am I know there are loads more out there more unfortunate than I am. At least my parents and I know what happens behind the scenes and know this is the part where we take charge (no we're not throwing missiles at the Parliament House). At least I have parents who'd go the distance for their children. At least I have parents...

This country stopped being useful ever since Tun Abdul Razak died. Every little slip-up they make can be turned into a racial issue now. Hah, try cleaning that up, einsteins.

My one week hiatus was so that I don't start cursing real badly but I think I did a subtler job at it here. =)

I won't say the last couple of days were uneventful, though. But I would've been more than willing to keep myself busy preparing for Uni.

Basically the only things I already have are:

1. bedspreads
2. carpet
3. mirror
4. towels
5. clothes
6. .....
7. .....
8. ...and so on and so forth.

What I've added to the list:

1. more clothes
2. new underwear

What I still need:

1. a bin
2. stationery
3. toiletry
4. a new laptop
5. class shoes
6. oath-swearing ceremony formal attire
7. pan and broom
8. a new backpack for class
7. food supply
8. my student loan
9. toilet sandals
10. the next 6 months worth of contact lenses
11. my medical check-up results
12. 12 passport-size photos
13. .......
14. ....
15.
16. ..
17. a proper curriculum
18. .....
19. a residential college that's not an hour away from the Faculty of Science building by foot
20. a residential college that's not another one hour away from Farrina's residential college by foot
21. ..
22.
23. .......... ..         .....   .

I thought UM was a city-complex. But UPM is probably a country-complex in its own. I think my college is situated in front of an orchard. Beyond that is a whole stretch of farmland of green hills. I am enthralled at the thought of living in a farm-university and all but the distance to get from one place to another is murder.

I wasn't exaggerating when I said my faculty building is that far, it is. It's like 11th RC UM-PASUM campus times seven. Really. I know there'll probably be busses inside but that means I'll have to obey a schedule. I like walking. I don't like being pushed for time. I know it sounds super selfish but my tardiness in the end have always been my loss and gain but missing busses in the morning must be really stressful.

Now on to my course. Do you know how physicAL Bachelor in Science (Hons.) Materials Science is?

Materials science is an interdisciplinary field involving the properties of matter and its applications to various areas of science and engineering. This science investigates the relationship between the structure of materials and their properties. It includes elements of applied physics and chemistry, as well as chemical, mechanical, civil and electrical engineering. With significant media attention to nanoscience and nanotechnology in the recent years, materials science has been propelled to the forefront at many universities, sometimes controversially.

Sub-fields of materials science:

• Nanotechnology --- rigorously, the study of materials where the effects of quantum confinement, the Gibbs-Thomson effect, or any other effect only present at the nanoscale is the defining property of the material; but more commonly, it is the creation and study of materials whose defining structural properties are anywhere from less than a nanometer to one hundred nanometers in scale, such as molecularly engineered materials.
• Crystallography --- the study of how atoms in a solid fill space, the defects associated with crystal structures such as grain boundaries and dislocations, and the characterization of these structures and their relation to physical properties.
• Materials Characterization --- such as diffraction with x-rays, electrons, or neutrons, and various forms of spectroscopy and chemical analysis such as Raman spectroscopy, energy-dispersive spectroscopy (EDS), chromatography, thermal analysis, electron microscope analysis, etc., in order to understand and define the properties of materials. See also List of surface analysis methods
• Metallurgy --- the study of metals and their alloys, including their extraction, microstructure and processing.
• Biomaterials --- materials that are derived from and/or used with biological systems.
• Electronic and magnetic materials --- materials such as semiconductors used to create integrated circuits, storage media, sensors, and other devices.
• Tribology --- the study of the wear of materials due to friction and other factors.
• Surface science/Catalysis --- interactions and structures between solid-gas solid-liquid or solid-solid interfaces.
• Ceramics and refractories --- high temperature materials including structural ceramics such as RCC, polycrystalline silicon carbide and transformation toughened ceramics

Some practitioners often consider rheology a sub-field of materials science, because it can cover any material that flows. However, modern rheology typically deals with non-Newtonian fluid dynamics, so it is often considered a sub-field of continuum mechanics. See also granular material.

• Glass Science --- any non-crystalline material including inorganic glasses, vitreous metals and non-oxide glasses.

...yeah I only read the blue parts too .

I don't doubt that it's a really interesting field of research BUT, when you live in a small country where there are bigger issues than the stunted growth of technology, you have to consider prospects. Materials Science graduates are still being sent overseas to have their doctorates and stuff, but coming back, the best place they can get is the working with SIRIM.

Typically we pay more respect towards 'real' professions like engineering and medicine. Here I have to stop going "The problem with this country is..." and agree with the stereotype that I won't get a proper job after I graduate. Just as how my dad couldn't get a job during his time that is even remotely close to Geology, which he majored in. I'd probably end up being a Materials Science lecturer or something.

And the biggest most stupefying irony here is that I LOATHE PHYSICS REMEMBER?

It's like a horrid prank all over again. A curse more like.

Good God.

Oh I'm supposed to register tomorrow, see, but I sent a letter requesting for a delay because I'm keen on waiting for my appeals to get through first. I'm definitely not confident that they will though, I learned that during times like this it's best to always expect the worst to avoid disappointment.

Psh, and I thought Sabah was worst.

Lol.