Delayed... Posted at 02:16 AM
Once upon a time I thought the only way out of my occasional hyper-dramatism was pure ignorance...
You know those days when someone frank said 'I think you're getting your personality confused...' and the like. The days when my little book of labyrinth would have tons and tons of momentary spoken emotions I thought I'd go back to refer to one tragic day later. Fact is now I had just only realised that I lost it...God knows ever since when.
But this is me in an entirely new phase. Growing up even more. Well yeah I can't grow taller anymore but I'm growing with experience I think. And it hit me there are loads of other ways to escape that hyper-dramatism. I evidently chose this concoction called endearment. This remedy called proactivity. This resolution called inner-resilience.
Very much more level headed these days. In terms of making decisions and talking about them, that is. Once in a while I do mourn at failures and sulk at draggy days and the constant parasitic deeds of those uneeded around me. Goes to show my hormones are still adolescence-driven and they do cheese me off majorly sometimes...
I get stressed less these days. Believing that self-empowerment makes people's heads turned if you know how to pull it off. Application, baby...not using it to take for granted but just being creative. You know, spritzing away that aura of captivity without trying too hard. Letting nature find its way into the heartstrings and brainwaves of the people around you. Your 'wicked ways' may not be what your adjacentees have before encountered. Best hope they can get overwhelmed the first time.
Concluding that I try to handle the mess people throw at me by serving it back to them on a silver platter with an electric smile.
=).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
APART from being murderous the last 2 whole fugging weeks of final papers have actually been quite eventful. I mean any day short of being remotely eventful would leave me feeling edgy, lol.
The first day was English day. After the 2nd paper only I realised I filled in my details on the OMR paper wrongly, so I called over this lecturer person and told. She was making a whole lot of fuss on how I should've been more careful, the paper's computerised and shit and yeah I'm sure lots of people around were listening. Hushed tones now...
lecturer lady: ...and you're supposed to write down your particulars with a 2B pencil.
me: Yea...I shaded in with a 2B pencil but I filled in with a black pen.
lady: But it's supposed to be in pencil?!
me: No...it says shade in pencil, but I can write in pen, can't I?
lady: *checks instructions hard...picks up my pretty grape-purple mechanical pencil* But this isn't a 2B pencil.
me: It's 2B, yeah it is...
lady: Where does it say, where...
me: *checks pencil....dang it doesn't say then...* ...but the lead's 2B *gives the, hah-take-that look...picks up lead case, pointing* See, 2B. *girl sitting behind sniggers*
.....cerewetnyeeee
After Physics1, the first HARDEST paper the five of us Sufi, Naya, Syafiq, Aus and I decided not to drive back to the hostel straight away and went on a stroll, busting on a couple making out or something at the all notorious Bukit Cinta and to KFC's drive-thru, stopped at counter only to realise NONE OF US got money.....so memalukan wei, haha! So we went back the next day after the EVEN surprisingly HARDER Algebra paper and didn't come back only after dark. One fateful rainy day Aus was walking to the exam hall when this bitch and co. in her BMW swerved past splashing muddy water all over him head to toe that once he got to sit down for Physics2 he had to take off his socks and dry them off by the window, haha! Ever since word got around at least 5 people had offered to give him lifts to exam then on, XD. There were studying nights that got us really fed up that we took breaks in between playing silly in the basketball court, walking around at 3am, and playing spot-the-people from the room balcony =P.
And we studied too yeah. *rollseyes* Aided with lots of frappuccinos to last the hardcore nights and loaves and loaves of bread with tubs of penut butter and nutellas just so we'd utilise time completely not wasting any by having to go out for breakfast and such, lol.
I think I fucked up physics the most again. Told daddy about it and he omfg get this he 'understood' for want of a better word so that's a relief. Because during the holidays he was soooooo eager at getting me to get my physics right I almost promised myself to ace it for him and that's probably my only motivation in doing well in such an evil excuse of a course, ahah.
I think the ending of the exam weeks with everyone gathered for MUET at the Tunku Canselor Hall. Everyone slept so late the night before already celebrating the end that I dozed off a couple of times during the listening paper so I had to guess the answers for some of the questions. Brilliant. Band 6 still pleeeeeease...please. =)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
On the holidays...
Realised I jumped into a fairly English start.
Dunno what that meant actually but 2 weeks is NOT enough. And wahey, as of now I've got only a week and just a bit left. Thanks yo.
To dos...:
- sit down with a good book (I go to the bookstore walking around chanting in my head "I want something on the 16-17th century England, or the during reign of Normandy, or something based in Scotland"......but settled with the Florentine Medicis, this one called 'The Birth of Venus'. Next I want 'The Inheritance of Loss' and 'The Known World' They're supposed to be real good. One won the Booker and the other the Pulitzer. Damn. Oh and I have a serious something against books based on the World Wars...).
- paint my bedroom walls. turqoise. (tomorrow! =D)
- retail therapy.
- exercise goddamnit!
- meet up with old friends.
- binge. (to pay for all those days survived with only 1 meal a day).
- watch a LOT of tv...
- sleep full nights...(caaaannn be negotiated, lol).
- donate some of the unwanted stuff in my wardrobe to charity.
- take the internet for granted.
- take the hot showers for granted.
- spend LOTS of quality time with the family.
....all in two weeks. *stomps on the floor and crosses arms*.
