Entries for October, 2005

October 1, 2005

seriously, can you hear my smile? seriously, can you hear my smile? Posted at 05:33 PM .....cos apparently Mt. Vesuvius didn't erupt. It only gurgled warmly. I like putting thoughts into others' brain tunnels. Like standing by the side of the tunnel in a simpleton's threads, holding a tatty, browning piece of soggy cardboard, something out of the bin, but then I scribbled on it impalpable words in blunt coal. A conundrum. Then certain people would stop by to try and decipher it. And stand to stare long and hard.....long and hard. I'll make sure I'll sing my smile out when or IF.....Vesuvius starts spitting snowflakes. Then I'll count each identical snowflake and pop them into my little tub of blessings. And keep them in the freezer so they will never melt. Promise. LEE SIEW VERN IS A GODSENT INSPIRATION. You're the pioneer and I am only like your student. I've learnt well? . I might not be seeing the actual outcome of my doing yet but wait I shall lest I be sinned with hastiness. Thank you SO much. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Am having a kenduri at the residence today, in welcoming the holy month of Ramadhan so let us be fasting our hearts out, people! If so be it we might not meet again next year. I cleaned up my room BIG TIME today. Changed the sheets, mopped, tidied up my closet and et cetera and I'm making this a big deal cos I might not do it again till much MUCH later. Lol. Cousins all drove up to stay over. Later on tonight when all congregation left we'll have a family barbecue supper in the garden and throw a big joint birthday party for daddy dearest, my cousin, and her dad. I love organising parties. I'm doing games for the mummies and everytime the family gets together for this everyone'll have their part. Usually I'm set for deco and present wrapping and games and distracting the celebrated whenever they want to move cakes and birthday stuff around the house. Gonna be a shitload of fun and we won't be meeting again till Eid. Anywho... Auf Wiedersehen for now. go nuts

October 2, 2005

i give you...muesli!! i give you...muesli!! Posted at 10:47 PM My weekend has been FANTABULOUS!! [Kenduri Doa Selamat-Tahlil-Sambut Puasa] .....I only took pictures of the after-event when guests left and the family and some neighbours were busy doing cleaning up and whatnots... ~Aunts washing up dishes in basins out in the garden. Oldschool style! ~.....my cousin, Shahira and I were supposed to help carrying washed dishes to the kitchen to be dried but we stole seconds after seconds for the camera. Lol, as how they'd put it, "mengelat". ~My brother ACTUALLY HELPING. I had to like REALLY stop him for a photo.... ~Uncle Halim sweeping.....I made him do it in slow-motion just for a snap cos he was doing it too FRANTICALLY.... ~More cousins....(c/w frm left) Munirah, Fatin, and Nadirah. We only have ocassions like this once a year or so, so everytime the spirit of preparation's in the air I feel the cultured me bringing my unstable self down closer to earth during the whole period. Lots of people came and it really is nice to see lots stayed back to help with the cleaning up too. Only a couple of things left me to sulk at as per usual, lol, like how some makciks ordered me around, where to put the serviettes, how many plates a row, how to arrange the sofas and crap. Urm, hello? MY HOUSE. [After-Party cum Birthday Bash!!] So after the cleaning up was wrapped up, everyone left, so somehow, one of my aunts persuaded Dad to bring my cousin Shahira along to send Mum's sister and family home, at the other side of the city, so as to buy LOTS of time to prepare the surprise birthday bash for them...under the canopy.........in the middle of the road. ~.....light the barbecue stove..... ~.....hanging up the balloons..... ~.....arrange the presents on the mat..... ~.....get the cake out..... .........then, my brother and some other cousins pretended to play in the middle of the junction from the main road into our lane, to watch out for Dad's car.......and we switched the lights off, hid behind cars and trees, some guarded the food from being stolen by mice, (WE SAW A BABY TENGGILING.....what's tenggiling in English again...armadillo? Yeah, whatever, A BABY ARMADILLO, couldn't snap a photo of it cos it was pitch black...), part poppers in hands, hats on, banners ready.....then my brother popped the balloon he was holding hard to alert us that Dad's car was in sight.... ~HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! ~Then, while eating we had games.....lots of 'em for the kids, mums and dads....This is us lining up to be checked after we collected our stuff in a game where we were supposed to find objects from around the area......I had to get a RM50 banknote, my aunt's credit card, one of dad's sandals, my grand-unc's glasses, a paper plate, a spoon, and the shirt Uncle Halim was wearing at the time. It was UBER funny cos dad was walking around in one sandal, one of my cousins was supposed to get my phone but it was inside so he took HIS instead and LIED that it was mine, lmao. .....but swell, I won third! ~Make-up Game!! The daddies were given real cheap make-up and were supposed to do either their wives or nieces' faces as hideous as possible to win... This was dad doing mum, he was trying to do a MASTERIECE and was all, "I can't make your mum look, ugly...." Lol, aww, and he was happily penciling mum's eye-lashes.....smart-ass. HAHA. ~Uncle Hakim doing it on my sister's face. ~Water balloons chucking..... ~Push-up competition for the daddies....lol, LOTS of show-offs here... .....I couldn't snap any photos of the limbo competition cos I was in it........better still, I WON IT!. . A big ass basket of snacks....woohoo. Then after that we opened our presents and prizes. Apparently some of us who weren't celebrating nowt nabbed ourselves some stuff too. I got a new black top from Unc. Hakim and lots of prizes I won in the games. lol. Then the birthday celebs had an array of swatches, swiss armies, guesses, etc... ~....dad was so very happy with the stuff he got he wore almost all of them there and then, so here's him in his golf cap, an office tie with his name embroidered on, 2 seikos on each wrist, and examining his new golf tee...Present unwrapping session was SO VERY DRAMATIC. There were screamings, and uncles yelling out slap-stick jokes, whatever. Good stuff. TODAY..... ~...played 3 hardcore games of bowling with relatives. Lookie here at my score, 5th from top. Lol, even beat my brother (second from top). Banggenye... THEN.....[5Sc1's Luncheon at Moven Peak] ~With Cass and our monitor Siew Sin.......Good God I'm a dwarf!....in comparison. ~ With Yoke Mun! I loved the kegs she was wearing today....LOVED IT!! ~ El tres de nosotros,....again. heheh. Sam and Ee Lin. ~......I can't remember how many times and places Sharon and I tried but we BOTH looked crappy anyway....lol, plus this final one with Vern seemingly more interested in the greeneries in the BACKGROUND...LOL. ~.....camera-whore Mun, ahaha, and Geeta in the centre. I don't know where picture of Vern and Caryn went to though.....card was full anywho must've accidentally binned. Oh well....some of us got bored halfway through when the rest were busy flaunting themselves in their own catwalk display in the middle of the room, haha...so, Geeta took Baldeep, Caryn, and I on a ride for the first time with her driving......I rate, 6. It was a wicked sweet experience. Shit, so frigging long......heck. MGS-ians....listen out pour moi, tomorrow..... OH YEAH.......Have fun wrestling with PMR papers next week to all whom it may concern!.....Get done with them QUICK and start pampering yourselves!! go nuts

October 9, 2005

my magellanic clouds my magellanic clouds Posted at 06:57 AM there's something about me. and that something is that i get jealous very,...VERY easily. 'cos i yearn to be the first at everything (almost) i do and knowing my pioneership title has been snatched away *poof* just like that.......it irritates me. i like the thought of my making a difference in other people's perspectives. failure is not an option. but it happens. and when it does, it irritates me. not proud to admit, but there ya have it..... seriously, the only way i can think of right now that will make "that's just brilliant!...." sound happy is for me to wake up the next day elsewhere. i don't care if it's in the atacama or polynesia, just elsewhere. i don't want to know too many people anymore, right now. go nuts

October 12, 2005

Madison Waters - Town Troubadour Madison Waters - Town Troubadour Posted at 11:23 PM Answers in Acoustic Some emotions are so volatile. Some are like limescales while you're the dry gutter. Stubborn. Parasital, and they feed on your thoughts. Dramatic little buggers with enormous appetites. Somehow I tend to keep feeding them (mine), and clearly it's shedding me off my external opacity, by the moment. Soon I'll be transparent enough you can breathe right through me. Frail enough I can dissolve in water. Because I am made up of my own thoughts. And when there's nothing left to feed my limescales with, I'm done. But for what anything's worth, they could gnaw on every scrap of flesh and bone on me, but I can only abandon my most unprotected state if my sentiment wants to leave too. Still, even if I can make it leave, for the better that is yours, I don't think I'd want to. Pressure on my hide hardly ever hurt it hard enough. Somehow you were the first to show me that bruises are meant to sting. Yes I am fragile but that does not mean I need you to prove it to me. Yes I am insecure but that does not mean I want help. I don't need to be told I'm breakable. It's this language I can't understand. And you speak it so fluently. I really should take time to take it in, but I don't think I'd want to. This time around you're more of the adult than I am. And I hate you for that. If only you could be my safety harness rather than teaching me how to make my own. I'm hating. Because I'm loving. And I'm done for. For you. Your doing. Madison. She makes little sense. Yet I concur to that. go nuts

October 20, 2005

Last day of school?......think that was what they said.... Last day of school?......think that was what they said.... Posted at 07:47 PM So as to make our last couple days of our school really kicking, my friends and I volunteered to help Miss Azana out with the Form 3 post-exam telematch thing for today and we've been spending loads of quality time together the entire week preparing. We had WICKED fun. I love my girls. Pictures..... ~ vernie =) ~ arg, dark.....Qhalida, Fatin, Ummu, Me, Puteri. ~ in the counselling room getting the final bits of the games done.......and in between, showing off what each other are gonna wear for grad-nite...lol. as usual i sat in a corner hoping nobody'd ask me what i'll be coming in again... ~ class!!!!!! part of it at least... ~ Fran...i love this..."WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THEM THE WHOLE TIME....". ~ organising team!!! Comebanks recharged...WORLD! ~ the contenders..... i was one of the port marshals. so wickedly fun! SO VERY WICKEDLY FUN. ~ some from my class helped out also. they were drenching the contenders and slapping dough all over their faces. at the end of the event, half of the flour we had were used ON us instead. LOL. ~ (from L-R) Wan Jing, Beh, Jolynn and Vern behaving like overgrown fairies from gigantopia sprinkling pixie dust all around. ahahaha.... ~ Moi, Siti, Geeta, Sharon, Baldeep..... ~ Sam and I. they couldn't get flour on my hair obviously so out of spite they smothered wet dough all over my face. tsk tsk. haha... ~ Sam and I looking like retards..... ~ Samanthaaaaa!!!..... ~ Berlina was politely *cough* paying a visit but how didja expect us gigantomungous fairies with flour pixie dust welcome guests?........FLOUR SHOWER!!! AHAHAHA..... hmm.....next set of pics....GRAD-NITE 2005!!! I heard it's gonna be posh and everything. Prettyful souvenirs. Cool agendas. I'M COUNTING ON IT!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ God bless the soul of Allahyarhamah Datin Seri Hendon Mahmood, and may He give peace towards her dearest family and friends...Amin. Animals are beautiful. I've seen the way elephants mourn a death in their herd so very intensely. They'd visit the dead member often, caressing it with their tusks, bowing down sometimes, hitting their tusks onto the dusty terrain. The wonders.... Cats. Black-J died today. Apparently his mother, brothers and sister felt it too. Before we buried him he was in a basket on the table, and his sister Biscuit kept pouncing on him and biting his ears and legs trying to get him to play. I'd take her down and she'd climb back up again not giving up. His eldest bro Benji kept on checking on him, licking and licking and licking and would sit next to him a couple of times. Then all three of the remaining siblings'd cuddle up together on this piece of rag at this special corner which was Blacky-J's favourite resting spot. I miss him. go nuts

October 22, 2005

Last hang out?.....should reckon so... Last hang out?.....should reckon so... Posted at 11:31 PM So I WAS invited and everything, mind you, to the informal prefects' outing thingy today though it had nothing to do with me whatsoever. Lol. I hate disappointing people, me . Eh, Siti? [Pictures] ~......effing dark but whatever. bowling before buka puasa waiting for their juniors to come. One part was funny. There was that one time when Mun bowled her ball and the pin-clearer thingamajig came down so her ball bounced on that and rolled right back to the starting point. SO hilarious...lol. ~ went into the pictures late cos we had to break-fast and pray first so this was our light starters...Ainun's coke, my mocha, Da'ana's coke, Somebody else's coke, Siti's coke..... ~ bloody rip-off.......they only gave me MOCHA FROTH.......like BROWN FOAM...... ~ after the film we went to eat. i had my beautiful black pepper lamb pie again with hot chocolate and failed to finish both...again. ~ sick of us much? eheh.... Goal was BRILLIANT. Gavin Harris...hmm......gavingavingavingavin...yum. He was one hot playboy who played kickass footie in the film. I WANT HIM. lol. Well Sharon too. You can have his left side. . WHICH reminds me.....SHARON LOOKED LIKE A GIRL TODAY . With heels and everything. Lots of them looked like proper girls. Made me look like a scruff. With cargoes and trainers and everything, lol. Oh, and my potential guy should be able to play some form of useful sporting game. Yes, preferably footie. One thing I probably love more than English accent is SCOTTISH ACCENT. Sometimes I wonder why was I not born Scottish. *rollseyes*. Or born in Scotland. Or inherit Scottish blood. Ptsk. I want the Highlander pride. William Wallace and all. Live by the shores of Loch Ness. I love Scottish accent. So very cultured. The reason I've not been telling what I'll be wearing was because I wasn't hoping to outdress anyone for a definite, and keeping people's expectations high either, with the possible exclaimations of "Oh yeah, that's it then?" when seeing me on Monday night. So yeah, whatever. Ciao bella! go nuts

October 25, 2005

Last fun?...oh heck, yeah... Last fun?...oh heck, yeah... Posted at 08:15 PM Ey up, third picture update in a row. Don't have the time to go all philosophical these days as badly as I want to...which I probably don't...as of now...yet...whatever. [PICTURES] Today ~ no classes today. grad-day rehearsals. break = photos! . (c/w frm top left) Ej, Hanna, Me, Dilla, Ika ~ at our HQ!! . i'mseeingstarsi'mseeingstarsi'mseeingstars..........guess which one's mine.. ~ lol, eyeahh didn't have anything better to do. ~ ties!!....i 'had a toothache'...then the others were a druggie, a pirate, a kidnapped child, and a kunfu-ist! ~ HAHA, LOVED this. the big boss strangling his employee overlooked by 2 body guards, a 'servant' fanning him and another serving coffee... ~.....omg, mega embarrassing, but WHO DOTH CARE... ~ CoverGirls!!.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ GRADUATION NIGHT 2005 ~ with Geeta... ~ blah, Caryn was COMPLAINING she sees other losers' pictures here but never hers. lol. voila. forget me, just look at her. ~ Vernie =) ~ Ee Lin was H-O-T. ~ my one and only Samantha... ~ Azimah!!... ~ Mayyan => ~ Kae sin... ~ Gabby ~ Suz.....she was pretty. ~ yea.....I was just STUNNED.....the SHE Yoke Mun!! lol ~ Ai Ling.....personal entertainer. lol ~ big crowd..... ~ Indispensable...... ~ with the ADORABLE miss Azana. ALL IN ALL I HAD ONE HELLUVA TIME. go nuts

October 31, 2005

nursery rhyme nursery rhyme Posted at 11:49 AM Because it's like this... ...not your average Goldilocks. ...not your average French maid. ...not your average music box. ...not your average wet clay. ...not your average Bernadette. ...not your average frying pan. ...didn't win big bucks on the roulette. ...SO not your average bygone fan. Yet somehow they're all a major loss......oh my dear lord, lol, THAT'S JUST IT!!! Possibly the simplest poem I've ever written yet. Dunno if it would even qualify as a poem, just a very brusque attempt of listing stuff in a fashionably rhyming sequence. So significant. Go on, try to make the crap out. go nuts