"I don't wanna be a snake..." Posted at 04:08 PM
KL trip(s) were wicked HOT!
Heck it was too much of a pumpkin-smash there's too much to be told. English Soc. trip was the best and probably el final for me and the late nights were the best of all best moments. I love love LOVE my room mates. Ha, I hear credits! Originally there were only Siti, Geeta, and I in a lousy window-less room and I had the king-sized bed aaaaaalll to my little self before Mayyan and Vern decided to move in free of charge and stole two thirds of my bed. *rollseyes*. LOL. ANYwho...So the nights were usually of us knocking on doors, crashing into each others' rooms, confessions, Vern poking down the sink for her solution bottle's cap, Siti helping, me, Yan and Geeta laughing our silly arses off in the room at everything they had to say in the bathroom...
Siti: we need a stick...
Vern: runs to the bin and comes back with a straw.
Siti: digs in deeper.....we need to find a harder stick...
harder laughter back in the room. Siti rummages for something...harder.
Me: so can you get it back UP?...
more laughter...
...and so then there was whore-naming each other, synchronized swimming, serious talking, midnight-ditching, snake-dreaming....and etc.
Then on the bus, most of the time me and Siti were counting the number of annoying gits we felt like tossing out...no through and out of the window like the one who couldn't stop singing Shut Up, the one who glares into your face while you're sound asleep, the one who was called Raymond Chan......Then there were loud, LOUD chats and laughter still...
[I'd still write more, but am not making much of an effort to make the descriptions sound exciting.....I'm having a real...real bad sense of deja vu and having a bad case of nervousness for if-only-i-know-what reasons and even the scurrying little ant on the keyboard's giving me jitters and somebody's humming's annoying me so...]
Sigh...oh well.
Saturday afternoon, went back down south, family thing. Usually we'd be going all the way to Dad's kampung but alas, para que anymore. I miss you gran...
My family, on Dad's side's experiencing negative growth so little meets once in a while like these makes it all worth while. And the barbecue night was heaps of FUN. I had a small piece of lamb, a chicken wing, 1 roast potato, 1 garlic bap, half a fried crab, 1 foot-long sausage, and didn't touch the huge prawns and fish. Half of the holidays have been stuffing me up big time I so need to de-tox. Scary...
Then there were more shopping of course.........
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It just hit me since a couple of days ago, that I have met myself with the reluctance to have gone through the yet somehow inevitable changes for the past 5 years or so. 5 years ago today, I was still a naivete, in cultural wreck actually. I was still walking around school not knowing where to and where not to tread and having people pushing me around telling me who to and not to be friends with, embarrass myself having to do things not done in 4 years, wishing we could've stayed back where we were for a little longer. So I suppose the good things that had happened during the 5 months of school during that year was completely, truthfully candid, an unplanned reality all the way through, and I made it through wonderfully not having to think about doing anything to help to fit in much. Yeah I remember I used to cry in the mornings thinking about going to school no more to a nice Mrs. Bradley who'd still be bragging to teachers how I recognised the beautiful harpsichord in a highly-textured musical piece, or a Mr. Blaby who would give me a Bonjour, Aimee, ca va?.......but to a snobbish science teacher who shoved a container of mouldy bread to another kid's face and gives me an hour-long test on my first day, and a living-skills teacher who couldn't help at naming each and everyone stupid every now and then. That was the start of me hating this place sorely.
And I suppose I don't like this place any better now. Send me off to South Pole for all I care, I'd make friends with the emperor penguins, so long as I'm elsewhere.
(...there goes the rhyming again...)
But I reckon persistently disliking this place has not been stagnating me, neither has it helped me gone up...much. Honestly, and frankly, I have lost my once sworn passion for education. I still love knowledge, but no more education. No more passion for by-the-book elements. I used to be the eager volunteer whenever the Planetarium people came to school, or the one always having my hands up when the Crucial Crew came over, or once the one who asked for bluebells' seeds to be planted in my garden to do a remake of our science project. So okay, I was a teeny weeny bit of a geek, or what the Sheffielders would call it...boffin. Heck I scored a perfect 100% on my Sex Edu. test even though we know the teacher gave it us for fun but haven't started on the chapter yet. God KNOWS how I did it...
Now, I'm scared of volunteering to brief experiments in the chemistry lab, I find physical structures and formulae too elusive to be paid full attention to. I dislike local education too much it's demoralising me, and I've realised it since a year ago. 4 years too late. and 5 months left till SPM. Joy to the world.....
It's a saddening fact how I can't dig out the love in education as much anymore. Before this I've even read about isotopes and atomic mass long before we learned it last year. Helen Doyle asked for a Shania Twain CD for Christmas and I asked for a concise encyclopedia. And honestly, I missed being that person whom I was, knowing stuff before everybody else did, the one who wanted so bad to a become an astronomer, for crying out loud, and at the same time had a social life to boot. What's going to become of me when I leave school?
My current fields in consideration:
- veterinary
- art history
- architecture
- journalism
- archaelogy
- pilo...uh...-try?
- graphic designing
- psychiatry
...half a decade ago:
- paleantology
- marine biology
- astronomy
- medicine
- archaelogy
- .....i can't remember the others.
....the verdict is? I'm screwed. Pfff....
And in more or less a months time, I'll only be a senior-cum-ex member of all societies I'm a member of in school. That's it! Only 4 more friday library sessions. 4 more formal board meetings. Tomorrow will be my LAST holiday duty. No more Adobe Photoshop for the Edi Board. No more competitions. No more head of drama. No more arts meets in the Kenyon Cottage. And I seriously.....honestly miss debate, terribly. No MORE!!.....
We'll be back to 0 counter giving 0 benefits as of then. I hate. Then they will forever condemn us to revision books, and before you know it my class would even ban P.E. No more authority. None. Our reign is done.
I'm so...so not ready for this.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news:
Ever heard of Henry the VIII? Most famous English monarch ever. 16th century AD. Round and pot-bellied, loved deer hunting, pride of the Tudor house, founder of the English rose, married 6 times, conquered the Church of England. Anywho, his favourite wife was the third one, Jane Seymour who gave birth to his one and only son. After she died, Henry decided to marry another maiden, a daughter of a countess, if I remember. Anne of Cleves. Henry had never seen her in the flesh before, only through an oil painting, and she was portrayed to be beyond beautiful. King Henry ordered his royal subjects to set up a wedding immediately and only met the young lady during the ceremony, and voila, she wasn't as drop-dead-gorgeous after all (in fact she was hideous) so Henry ordered for her to be divorced soon afterwards. Ptsk...
The point of this short story.....Anne's family painter was one who desired beauty and painted anything vile to its rightful perfection. In this case he was indirectly lying to the viewers of his portraits through the works of acrylic and oil paints. He wanted people to see beauty when it actually turned them into materialistic judgementalists. Indirectly he lied, and not to his own disadvantage. If I can connect to this story it is the painter, only in this context, the viewer is I, myself alone and that it is, this time, to my disadvantage. I painted a portrait of a special person to my sublime liking that I patched every crease and scar with all the tanned peach I had. I used vibrant colours to paint its eyes further more intense than they ever are in real life. I blended shades with the finest brush strokes as if I was given the choice to mould a brand new person completely to my benefit, to my indulgence fully. I'd let others see it, and worrying if the brushwork is not enough, I added words to further colourised my visual works. I want the person in my portrait to be so very real that when later on I encounter the actual person, I was rather, cruelly disappointed, for its flaws matched not even my simplest sketch. Henceforth, I have indeed lied to myself in vain. Then I realised I was wrong to have ever attempted to paint its portrait. I am not worthy of portraying a figure only to my liking. It's been nice thinking about it, so I guess I'll just hide it up in the attic now...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Photos on next post.....I'm beat.
. Next week's our choral speaking club's farewell feast already. Then there will be Art's Club. Then Edi too. Last friday, we had candid photoshots of the Librarian Board and one special one of the the three inseparable Main AJKs those of which were Ee Lin, Sam, and myself. I'm gonna miss them to the tiniest bits, I swear. We've been a one-of-the-kind trio I have to say. So.....is that it?
. Then Mun assigned me for head of deco and t-shirt design, so, no complaining! Haha! I like being in charge of things. 
.......
