it was raining like it had never done in the past few weeks in ipoh last night. the house blacked out a number of times. i was still wide awake and quite spooked since it was a thursday night and the wind was howling madly outside my window. i went outside to look for the nearest cat i could grab and found Biscuit under the chair in the tv room. poor baby was fast asleep but i carried her to my room to teman me for the rest of the night. she has this habit of staring into space that i don't really like. and i kindaf wished i had grabbed frantic and hyper Candy instead she'd be running around the room and i wouldn't feel so alone. Biscuit, she's just too..immobile sometimes late late at night. sometimes she'd just sit upright in the hallway looking down into the darkness of the living room and just stare for 10 whole minutes not moving at all. sometimes you'd wander if she's seeing things you can't...

and i felt all kinds of foreboding last night that i eventually fell asleep with the lights on. i was msn-ing with my bf and gave him short replies most of the time he thought i was mad at him. i hate foreboding. foreboding on a spooky rainy night with a haley joel osment in The Sixth Sense -cat.

i woke up and made my way to the kitchen seeing my mum on the kitchen counter making lunch so early and the first thing she said to me was, "Michael Jackson meninggal.."

and to be honest at the moment i wasn't that thrown by the news. i was like, Farah Fawcett died, MJ died, that Neda girl died too a week ago..it's dying season.

but about an hour after that i ate back my words. Michael Jackson was my first ever musical icon when i was small. i grew up being made to listen to him and loved it. i remember when i was about four, my favourite was Black or White. i would watch the video clip over and over going it's black! it's white! head to the side, back to the front! i would sing-a-long to his cassette and made the whole house pay attention and listen to me. i had a SEGA Michael Jackson video game. He kills zombies with his moonwalking and screams in it. i remember admiring his wax figure at Madamme Tussaud's. i think i have a picture of it. i shall go look for it later. oh and once in Disneyland Paris 1997, they had a 3D screening of MJ's Thriller and i begged oh begged my parents and my aunt and uncle if we could go see that and do the Alice in Wonderland maze later.

this is as saddening as the time i woke up watching the breakfast news about Lady Diana's tragic death on ends. as saddening as how i still get teary eyed when they feature Steve Irwin on tv.

how is the world to feel now? well your haters can go stuff it for good now. that evil pakistani-british journalist what was his name..the one that's been harassing you and putting words in your mouth for years on all of those child molestation shit. those who envied your fame and wealth and tried to bring you down.

i can't go on TMZ anymore because you're all they talk about now. you're all they talk about everywhere.

rest in peace, Mikael..

i'm kindaf getting bored with the overly-vintage obsession amongst young malaysian girls. i mean vintage is good, but too much of it is just so tacky and your mum will start making fun of you because even she never used to do it so over the top-ly back then.

NO! what is wrong with you.

and i realised, i can never be too drawn towards vintage apparels, let alone pull them off. let alone FIT THEM.

neither can you. some of you look like you're wearing tents. but i may be too under-read to judge. i'm not a fashionista. but what i do know is that i dress in a lot of dark colours, but my bags must almost always be brighter than the sun.

and if there's one i want to look up to in the way she dresses and accesorises it would be michelle trachtenberg..

i want those shoes? she dresses like such a rockstar all the time. i want the hair too but then i know half of that are thousands of dollars worth of extensions but who cares.

you don't always have to go vintage to look hot, see!

nowadays i find some people so obsessed that anyone wearing something flowery, something faded, something so worn out it looks more like perca-perca kain stitched up together and thus you're wearing a very colourful very faded though quilt, counts as a vintage goddess.

unattractive. if i have a lot of money, i'd go michelle trachtenberg than floral rags, thanks.

i am feeling sickeningly sentimental today. i'm listening to On Fire by Switchfoot. i haven't been listening to this in over a year. i remember listening to this over and over one night i stayed up teman-ing you study till the wee wee hours of the morning. i first heard this song when i was at the Switchfoot concert february last year. a few seconds into the song, and i felt odd. amidst the thousands of people around me swaying to the tune, holding up lighters up in the air, all in rather a trance so intoxicated by the emancipating ambience that cradled every single person in that large room, i stood still. that odd feeling was too overwhelming. it crept under my skin and filled me with anxiety so strong i felt like my head would crack right at the top any minute then, and a fountain of water would erupt out of it so violently it would wash everyone off of their feet, and i would later crumble into a thousand pieces from that immaculate splendour.

and amidst my thoughts spiraling wildly i envisioned ways that would immortalise that perfect moment when emotions collided like crashing waves on jagged rocks, and when the rapture subsides you have merely soft ripples gracefully sweeping away the remnants of the excitement. less dramatic ways that would make that moment echo..until i get sick of remembering such a corny make-belief for a corny situation. omg and it just dawned on me how even cornier it would be if i were to tell the world what exactly that corny thought was so i'm just gonna stop myself here ask me personally if you really really need to know (malu dah).

XD

anyway, initial point was that i wanted to express how intense i find this song is to me, and how much it reminds me of whatshisname and i during the infant days of our then friendship. we'd be texting all night about all kinds of random things. he was like my secret friend that i got close to by chance. the friend that at the time needed all the care in the world he could get to believe in happiness again. i felt compelled to always being there for him through his sad stories and lonely nights. even though from a distance. many many months have passed and along with them the tales told that got us to where we are today. at the risk of getting more painfully mushy from this point onwards, i'll stop myself. XD

this is a totally random post that started with a song i worshipped.

and i'm ending it with a totally random picture of whatshisname trying to look all insufferably cute for his girl..

XD

i <3 you too hensemku!

i don't know, maybe i'm the only one who finds Billy and Linzi messaging each other on Twitter so gadorable when they live in the same house sleeping in the same bed? (yes, i only just made up 'gadorable' 2 seconds ago, biala).

BloodzillaBilly If only I could have Boba tea everyday..
3:25 PM Jun 13th from TwitterBerry

LinziLove @BloodzillaBilly you would be BobaBilly
3:44 PM Jun 13th from mobile web

BloodzillaBilly @LinziLove and you would be Mrs. BobaBilly. =)
4:39 PM Jun 13th from web in reply to LinziLove

..aww, kindaf makes me want to get married. then i'd Twitberry my husband who's fast asleep right next to me

Aimisyaz @HotHusband wake up syg, the baby needs changing, your turn tonight kthx.
4:55 AM five years later from TwitterBerry

X)

would it be too ridiculous if i say, that after i graduate, i want to do my postgraduate in something entirely different say..anthropology or..marine biology?

it's not impossible right? i mean my dad graduated with a degree in geology but he did his masters and degree in business..

i'm done with chemical engineering lah! i watch Mythbusters everyday with jealousy thinking these are special effects people and they get to blow up stuff and chemical engineers hardly get to touch chemicals at all. we get very cynical comments from at least one particular pure chemistry lecturer in the faculty one whose name i shall not mention suffice to tell you though that SHE WAS HARDLY ANY HELP TO US IN SCORING WELL ON OUR INSTRUMENTAL CHEMISTRY PAPER LAST SEMESTER WHEN DR. MIKHAIL GAVE OUT Bs TO HIS STUDENTS. i got a C+. anyway, cynical comments about how chemical engineering students suck at real hardcore chemistry because we play with big kids' machines and suck at paying attention to details. well you're one to talk you FORGOT to mention to us that you weren't teaching us everything we should know to do even remotely well in the exams details my foot.

POINT IS. chemical engineers, chemists, broad separating line, big difference. i don't really find much sense of purpose working inspecting pipes and distillation towers and flash drums and crap drilling for oil that contributes to a large portion of global pollution.

i'd rather go studying sea life and protect whales from those barbaric japanese and sharks from..well us.

i REALLY don't tolerate shark fin soup eaters.

i have friends who absolutely LOVE shark fin soup and you know me, i don't discriminate. i don't tolerate them all the same.

to my muslim friends, shark fin soup mungkin la halal, tapi kekejaman terhadap binatang ciptaan Allah tetap haram sama sekali, sekian.

you know how they kill sharks for the fins right?

they are sliced ALIVE.

..finless, and bleeding to death, they are thrown back into the water..to die a slow and painful death.

and here's the unnecessary soup that you love SO FUCKING MUCH.

sedap kan membunuh?

i don't fucking care if it's a hundred year old tradition, burying newborn baby girls by the Africans is tradition too BUT YOU DON'T THINK THAT THAT'S OK EITHER DO YOU?!

dah2 la makan benda2 bukan2 ni. shark fins, cats and dogs, human foetus, raw monkey brains eaten out of a living monkey, snakes, turtles, pandas, rhinos, polar bears i dunno, ape lagi. tak cukup benda elok2 dah ke nak makan?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST STOP, ASIANS!!!!

sorry world. been poorly last few days. oh and i accidentally on purpose broke my modem too. it was misbehaving so badly i kicked it to the wall and it broke. padan muke modem. padan muke saye xde internet.

so lately i have been going over to Ika's often. macam extended family dah rasenye X). it's lovely because i turn to her about things the most these days. she's one of those friends i have who really don't judge me by my flawed life on impulse. you know when rich people have such hectic lives all stressed out with everything can't really move can't really think and they run away for a bit to their country house by the lake to just.. let it all go, yeah that's Ika to me.

so i hope God, that you'll be putting her in my campus next semester. and hanna too. having them around will please me so much i think i'll start achieving more in life then.

results are out. seriously don't judge me. my battles and your battles are different. i'm not exactly over the moon with what i got but i'm thanking God every single day that my repeating papers days are as good as over. and i'm looking forward to a better second half of my course. i will not tolerate anymore people who try to put me down especially now that i'm getting better at motivating myself to do harder. best keep the snide opinions to yourselves. kthanks. i'm still fabulous.

i love ellen degeneres. really, i do. i wish starworld isn't so a month behind in airing her shows. tapi lambat2 pun layan jugak. so the other day i watched and she had this guest, a 9 year old japanese boy who's a guitar prodigy and my God did he sweep me off of my arse on the sofa and onto the floor. HE WAS BRILLIANT! omg i'll say no more just watch this video of his performance. he's playing Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train. ZOMG cutest thing ever. i want a kid like that one day. cutest cutest thing ever. probably the first thing that's japanese that i have complimented so generously in a long time.....

you watch something like this and can't help at thinking....i mean with that unfazed look he has playing so effortlessly xyah pandang guitar pun lek je. and those tiny little fingers.. and how the guitar is almost bigger than him..and omg how happy he was when Ozzy came out it was so awwwwww.. =')

COMEL GILE KAN?!!