ever since my last post, i..

played Ultimate Frisbee in the inter-faculty games and lost at quarter-finals..

met Mukhriz, Mahathir's son, when i helped organise this talk he was giving.. (memangla saye ni kwn sepermainan diorang dah first name basis camni..X)) ..

had a barbecue night out at the beach with my class..that was nice..

i got admitted into the hospital for a bit for suspected flu, couldn't breathe properly, was almost on oxygen aid, came out diagnosed with a hereditary blood disease..sweet.

oh and missed 2 weeks of school..double sweetness, like sugar.

two and a half weeks later..

i broke up with this boy. i was crushed like never before, not gonna lie.

five days later, here i am, still trying to fix my broken bits and pieces but my tears keep melting the super glue holding them together stop when am i going to finish like this stop..

helfen Sie mir..

my going on about how much i loathe Malaysian politics there on the tagboard was randomly on somekind of a whim. i think it's very irresponsible of some if not most youths of today to be so ignorant about politics and shit because pusing-pusing mcm mane pun this particular shit actually do affect us in the most significant of ways. IM NOT BEING CLICHE THIS IS NOT LAME. i'm not asking you to join campaigns, or wear flags of whomever you support on your heads. just have principles. having a political opinion, decides what kind of principle in life you have. you know, like how the kind of music that you listen to determines the kind of person you are. like my liking rock laced with a whole lot of other completely different things like classical and the backstreet boys tells that i'm volatile and completely unpredictable. so believing in some ways of life and disagreeing with the ways that don't quite suit your fancy, determines how you see life, and what an ideal life is for you, albeit ideal being impossible. YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN OPINION GODDAMNIT STOP BEING SO BIMBOTIC LIFE ISN'T ALL ABOUT GOSSIP GIRL AND FOOTBALL.

which reminds me of this forum-like thing we had last thursday. so i got to skip CRE and process engineering classes that afternoon to go to the city for this intercultural..integration..interraction..forum-like thing with a few American students represented by MACEE. skipping the whole bahoohaa being left by the bus, having to drive to KL the five of us Mam Izzah Haizum Nad and I blalala being completely outshined by cocky INTEC students blalala actually what i wanted to talk about this one particular American student whose name i couldn't be bothered to remember. he was very active back then in working for Barrack Obama's campaign before he was elected as president. he went on about how Americans are generally very opiniated and they're practice freedom of speech as much as they can when it comes to things they believe in and believe against.

"..in fact, i am against EVERYTHING that Bush was all about.."

along the way, this Malaysian-Chinese professor supported his little speech by saying how Malaysians and Americans share this in common, freedom of speech.

and i spontaneously muttered under my breath. freedom of speech. are you f-ing kidding me. we don't even have freedom of OPINIONS. if it were up to the government, they'd like to screen even the 'impure thoughts' we have of them! bullshit! i thought we were exchanging stories about our cultures! I HAVE BEEN TRICKED GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW.

random title i know. i've got loooooooooooads to tell. stuff you HAVE to hear about.

i will tell everyone about it once i have a stable internet connection again!

first off.. WORST FIRST WEEK OF THE SEMESTER EVER!!!1

the most annoying discovery that both nad and i can barely give in to is that students' attendance is taken extra seriously this semester.

really? have you not any more bigger things to worry about? hah UiTM? like say giving the chemical engineering students full access of the entire faculty building now that the pharmacy nerds are out, now that you've added a kajillion more classes to each batch? now that there are also one brand new programme that you've adopted? now that there's a total of four programmes, not including pre-engineering children, all occupying only THREE FLOORS OUT OF THE NINE FLOORS THAT THE FACULTY BUILDING IS MADE UP OF?! honestly, ocassional truancy is actually helping you lecturers. you know, easing up on you. since you're not doing anything about it. as. always.

i don't need people to start spamming going "aimi jgnla ponteng2, x bagus falala.."

who made you mum and dad, back off k.. (ter-garang sket sorry).

i mean seriously, i only skipped ONE miserable class last week. and that ONE class was barely one because the lecturer hadn't even started teaching yet anyway. so what's your problem woman?! i hate to brag, but my dad who's an associate professor that you are not, couldn't care less if people come to his class or not as long as he knows his students learn. you're just too engulfed in self-respect that you expect students to build you a shrine. and not coming to one measly little class is like having thirty 21-year-olds spit on this godly shrine. a class that you occupied by making students copy down a set of rules you made up a load of nonsensical do's and don't's some as ridiculous as telling students that if we've lost our old books that we're re-using, photocopies aren't allowed get a new one. ape ke bodoh camtu. a book is a book. photocopies are as good as the real ones. you know saving rm30 on a book by getting a photocopied one is actually a big difference in some people's lives? like my life for instance. and yes i've lost my book. in fact my dad lost it. and if i can't find it over this weekend i'll GET myself a photocopied one just to annoy you. and to save my rm30, thanks.

anyway point is, this is not school anymore. skipping one lousy class doesn't make us immature little children. the university specifically asked for a minimum of 80% attendance from everyone. so who are you, one bitter little person asking for a hundred percent?

i mean i like the way she teaches. she teaches just the way i like it. telling everyone before hand what learning everything means to us. using simpler examples of fluids such as orange juice rather than acetonitrile that sounds too intimidating. making the subject sound tame and not so frightening. you know your teaching in class could as well compensate after being told off in your room ramai-ramai. i don't deny some of the things you said were true. like prioritising and shit. but i don't appreciate you putting words in people's mouths. and respect?..is to be earned. no matter if you're older or younger than i am. you know, like how i never respected Mahathir for being such an arse no matter how much development he's introduced to this country even though he's like ten thousand years older than i am? yeah like that. and i don't expect the whole world to respect me fully either because i can too can be a little arrogant and conceited too. but i'm working on it. failing to excell ten times over for the past 2 years is bringing me down back to solid ground. sometimes below that that i forget what confidence even feels like. i know i was wrong to skip class, but seriously, life could be worse. and i can't stand uptight people.

anyway, that wasn't the only thing that ruined my week. despite the amount of pressure building up and the pimples on my forehead worsening at the same pace have we not already seen how they coincide? Chemical Reaction Engineering is looking quite vague hardly to my liking at all. well a lot of things are looking vague actually i hope that'll change later.

and i reeeeeally thought i could do kick-boxing for last compulsory co-curriculum..thing. it was so much fun! i only tried it out once and it was...best la! =D i really felt in-sync with the coordination and attitude of the moves even though we've only learned about 6 basic ones. i felt like my body could start moving in tune by itself without me thinking too much X). BEST LAAAA! that was 2 nights ago. today though, the back of my shoulder and my biceps hurt..and i skinned my left big toe twisting on the rough takraw court floor. acece biceps pulak bajet mcm dah ade je.. XD

now i'm only thinking how i'm going to pay for training. rm100 per semester and another rm110 for the handwraps and gloves. it may not be a lot to you but it's a lot to me. i'm trying to not ask for extra money from dad, any more than he's giving me every month. i really should start eating cheap and decline invitations makan kat tempat-temapt mahal ni.. X(

speaking of food. i'm eating gruel now. because i CAN'T CHEW HOW LAME IS THAT. i can't chew properly without chewing into my swollen gums at the back where the wisdom teeth are starting to grow out of. yes TEETH. because i just felt another inflamation around my left lower jaw gum right at the back too. bodoh. satu2 sakit sudahla. hak ela..stress ok!

and speaking of money, instead of losing some to the Tioman trip i was supposed to go on with horny Syuk and hornier Wan and Fuad and Nazim next weekend, i'm gunna make some some some by doing a jumble sale at our home in Shah Alam!

special preview update on the sale in the next few days watch out for it okay.. =)

in fact..i'm so excited about the sale that i'm gonna go and finish my english and process engineering homework and get on with the preparation in a little while bye nao.. X)

it was raining like it had never done in the past few weeks in ipoh last night. the house blacked out a number of times. i was still wide awake and quite spooked since it was a thursday night and the wind was howling madly outside my window. i went outside to look for the nearest cat i could grab and found Biscuit under the chair in the tv room. poor baby was fast asleep but i carried her to my room to teman me for the rest of the night. she has this habit of staring into space that i don't really like. and i kindaf wished i had grabbed frantic and hyper Candy instead she'd be running around the room and i wouldn't feel so alone. Biscuit, she's just too..immobile sometimes late late at night. sometimes she'd just sit upright in the hallway looking down into the darkness of the living room and just stare for 10 whole minutes not moving at all. sometimes you'd wander if she's seeing things you can't...

and i felt all kinds of foreboding last night that i eventually fell asleep with the lights on. i was msn-ing with my bf and gave him short replies most of the time he thought i was mad at him. i hate foreboding. foreboding on a spooky rainy night with a haley joel osment in The Sixth Sense -cat.

i woke up and made my way to the kitchen seeing my mum on the kitchen counter making lunch so early and the first thing she said to me was, "Michael Jackson meninggal.."

and to be honest at the moment i wasn't that thrown by the news. i was like, Farah Fawcett died, MJ died, that Neda girl died too a week ago..it's dying season.

but about an hour after that i ate back my words. Michael Jackson was my first ever musical icon when i was small. i grew up being made to listen to him and loved it. i remember when i was about four, my favourite was Black or White. i would watch the video clip over and over going it's black! it's white! head to the side, back to the front! i would sing-a-long to his cassette and made the whole house pay attention and listen to me. i had a SEGA Michael Jackson video game. He kills zombies with his moonwalking and screams in it. i remember admiring his wax figure at Madamme Tussaud's. i think i have a picture of it. i shall go look for it later. oh and once in Disneyland Paris 1997, they had a 3D screening of MJ's Thriller and i begged oh begged my parents and my aunt and uncle if we could go see that and do the Alice in Wonderland maze later.

this is as saddening as the time i woke up watching the breakfast news about Lady Diana's tragic death on ends. as saddening as how i still get teary eyed when they feature Steve Irwin on tv.

how is the world to feel now? well your haters can go stuff it for good now. that evil pakistani-british journalist what was his name..the one that's been harassing you and putting words in your mouth for years on all of those child molestation shit. those who envied your fame and wealth and tried to bring you down.

i can't go on TMZ anymore because you're all they talk about now. you're all they talk about everywhere.

rest in peace, Mikael..